avidity

well i would like to apologize for the crazy dramatic blog last night.
i love all of you who left me so much support and love. i really, really needed it. i haven't been that low since this whole thing happened the first time with him. i called out of work today. i had been fighting a migraine all week, and all the crying did not help it. when i opened my eyes this morning, i couldn't even lift my head up without wanting to rip my head off in pain. so i stayed home, i slept, i talked to friends, i slept some more, and i blocked kevin from every mode of communication i have. it will be hard for me. but it has to be done. i wish i never met him. i really, really do.
but again you were all so amazing. XBadNewsX and PunkNiteMike especially.

so....this is what i wanted to blog before the incidents of late last night.
my favorite dance from the first episode of SYTYCD....



it's so sensual. this is what love should be to me. one day *sigh* one day.

here's a happier picture....



thank you all again. i wish i could hug each and every one of you.