some days i really wish i believed in god.
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rain.
maybe you're confusing god with something else you don't believe in. i think the word "god" is associated (in our time) with things decidedly ungodlike. maybe you just define god so radically different from the whole that you feel compelled to say you don't believe in "god." but it's not GOD you don't believe in. it's THEIR god you don't believe in. maybe?
xip