I am, for whatever inexplicable reason, feeling overwhelmingly sad tonight. I can't figure out why -- I mean, I'm on antidepressants to prevent this from happening.
Maybe I just miss Molly (which I most definitely do), or maybe the antidepressant is starting to plateau after two years. This is the kind of depression that I started taking pills to deal with in the first place; the kind that you feel deep in your heart/diaphram area that spreads into your every thought.
I guess the best reason I can come up with is that I forgot to take my Lexapro yesterday, so I took half a dose when I got home from work. Maybe that threw off the whole serotonin reuptake inhibition process a little bit, enough to make it feel like the Lexapro I took before work tonight isn't having any effect.
Another part of it is, of course, that I'm stuck at work. When I feel like this I want to be at home, but I can't leave work for another hour and a half or so.
On a happier note, I think I've found a doctor that can get me restarted on hormone replacement therapy. The doctor herself is TS, and I met her once a few years ago during my first attempt at gender transitioning, but I was never her patient. I will call her office in the morning, one of four calls I've got to make after work (the others are to DHL, who have a package for me but not an apartment number to deliver it to; State Farm; and a dentist I owe money).
I want to rearrange the furniture in my bedroom, too, but I don't think I'll be able to get to that on a workday. I just haven't the energy. Maybe this weekend.
With some of the money I received for my birthday, I bought a new comforter for my bed. It's bright pink, nearly flourescent red, and it goes nicely with my black sheets. Colour me queer.
Maybe I just miss Molly (which I most definitely do), or maybe the antidepressant is starting to plateau after two years. This is the kind of depression that I started taking pills to deal with in the first place; the kind that you feel deep in your heart/diaphram area that spreads into your every thought.
I guess the best reason I can come up with is that I forgot to take my Lexapro yesterday, so I took half a dose when I got home from work. Maybe that threw off the whole serotonin reuptake inhibition process a little bit, enough to make it feel like the Lexapro I took before work tonight isn't having any effect.
Another part of it is, of course, that I'm stuck at work. When I feel like this I want to be at home, but I can't leave work for another hour and a half or so.
On a happier note, I think I've found a doctor that can get me restarted on hormone replacement therapy. The doctor herself is TS, and I met her once a few years ago during my first attempt at gender transitioning, but I was never her patient. I will call her office in the morning, one of four calls I've got to make after work (the others are to DHL, who have a package for me but not an apartment number to deliver it to; State Farm; and a dentist I owe money).
I want to rearrange the furniture in my bedroom, too, but I don't think I'll be able to get to that on a workday. I just haven't the energy. Maybe this weekend.
With some of the money I received for my birthday, I bought a new comforter for my bed. It's bright pink, nearly flourescent red, and it goes nicely with my black sheets. Colour me queer.