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avalon13chase

baltimore

Member Since 2006

Followers 222 Following 105

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Thursday Dec 07, 2006

Dec 6, 2006
1
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This is my brain..I just want to hide today

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Can't get the stink off
He's been hanging round for days
Comes like a comet
Suckered you but not your friends
One day he'll get to you
And teach you how to be a holy cow

You do it to yourself, you do
and that's what really hurts
You do it to yourself, just you
you and no-one else
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself

Don't get my sympathy
Hanging out the 15th floor
You've changed the locks three times
He still comes reeling through the door
One day I'll get to you
And teach you how to get to purest hell

You do it to yourself, you do
and that's what really hurts
You do it to yourself, just you
you and no-one else
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself

You do it to yourself, you do
and that's what really hurts is
You do it to yourself, just you
you and no-one else
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself, yourself, yourself.



So anyhow..My workout and diet and being fucking killed , and it really is getting to take its toll on me..So..last night they come and get me after work and tell me we are going out to dinner..so they pic this place where nothing is heathy really and their salads suck asss royally, so I order this grilled chicken and tomato with a side a sweet potato..thinking i'm doing good..then they want to go to Boarders and look at stuff, we dont get home'till 8 and i dont work out again..We had sex last night, and the entire time Im am peroccupied with my self hate.
Someone just fucking shoot me. enough is enough. If i'm tired and worn I just dont have the strength to keep my self postive. I feel I am completely worthless. I wonder what the fuck he is doing with me. I convince myself he will leave. then I want to leave him to spare him the hell if being with me.
I slept on the couch last night, i did something horrible, and am lucky to even be talking to you this morning.
I called out sick from work and was told I had to come in today, no questions asked.
thats it..I dont have much to say.
In lighter news. I will post some new shots soon from a certain set.

VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
thekatsmeow:
Don't put yourself down! screw your diet, it's the holidays! and your man is lucky to be with a girl as cool as you!
Dec 7, 2006
connielingus:
Oh, sweetie, I'm so glad you're not leaving. I only got through the first sentence of your blog before I started scanning my brain to figure what credit card I have enough $$$ on to buy you a gift membership. I heaved a sigh of relief once I continued reading.

We should go get SG tattoos so we'll both have lifetime meberships. wink

Stop making yourself feel guilty. You're doing awesome so far, just take it easy. Baby steps, girl, baby steps. The holidays are the hardest times to diet and excersise, and you're doing more than most people. Sure you've heard this a bazillion times, but I think you're beautiful just the way you are.

kiss kiss kiss ♥
Dec 8, 2006

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