argh..im in one of those moods again..self hate with a little kick of sadness always a good way to start the weekend. I feel like such a loser today.Fuck..I hate the way sadness comes up outta nowhere and just kicks you in the ass. I am trying my best to ignore it today. So i probally wont be on here that much.. cause then i'll get to compairing myself, and then i'll feel worse.
Im gonna say something and it may not make any fucking sense, but i need to see it in writing, you know..
I feel like when i was in other relationships, i always had one foot out the door, i always was looking for something more..now i have both feet in, and i'm terrified. this wonderful relationship in a sense has given me my distroyed self esteem..because iwas always settling for whatever then, and now i have the best, and in my brain i am convinced it will be over, becuse im not hot, or sexy or whatever...i never doubt my heart and mind always my fucking looks..anyway enough o' that you guys are prolly tired of hearing me mope
Im gonna say something and it may not make any fucking sense, but i need to see it in writing, you know..
I feel like when i was in other relationships, i always had one foot out the door, i always was looking for something more..now i have both feet in, and i'm terrified. this wonderful relationship in a sense has given me my distroyed self esteem..because iwas always settling for whatever then, and now i have the best, and in my brain i am convinced it will be over, becuse im not hot, or sexy or whatever...i never doubt my heart and mind always my fucking looks..anyway enough o' that you guys are prolly tired of hearing me mope
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And this lucky guy likes everything about you.
But I know how it can be when things are good, you end up worrying that something HAS to go wrong, because it always has in the past. And the happier you feel, the more you dread what comes next. Surely, at some point, he'll realzie what a mistake he made with you and leave. But try your best not to worry about it. I know that doesn't really help. Just know that other people experience the same kinds of doubts and fears.
You just have to try your best to come to terms with the fact that maybe this relationship is actually going to last.