avalon

GROWING PAINS

i am such a super fag. what am i doing? i have no life. all i do is work. meh! that is so irritating! it is hard to have a social life when you work for a living. i guess things aren't so bad. i'm not broke. i have money to blow. i am beginning to have nicer things. i guess it is called *growing up*! gag. i mean- i exercise and kinda watch what i eat. i take better care of myself. i am nazi organized. i am responsible with my job. i pay bills. i clean. i go to the doctor when i am supposed to. i take medicine when i am sick. i have my own car. my own apartment. my own computer. i bought them all with my own money. i pay my own health insurence and car insurence. ewwwww! what is going on? i dunno, but i guess you just evolve into a more responsible person. i never saw it coming. but i still have fun. i have something beautiful to look forward to after i get off work. and i wake every morning to someone absolutely gorgeous. i feel better about my looks. i think clearer. shit. maybe i am scared to see the person i am becoming but maybe it is for the best. i will always be a kid at heart. i thin i just need to learn to let things be and stop being so damn insasiable. but that is hard for someone who isn't used to settling. maybe because i never had something worth settling for. maybe i do now, maybe i do...



Avalon