autumntide

Warning - This is a rant!!

So yesterday was a bad day, ive currently recieved my second letter informing me that im being taken to court over due bils, I just love the aggresion of this country when in a crisis - yes we have no money but taking me to court isn;t exactly going to get money i dont have is it???? dick heads! I'd also like to point out in my defense that some of these bills ive never recieved then the first i hear of them is im beingtaken to court!!! assholes - ive only lived her since november and nobody in my apartment block new who our suppliers were for gas, water and electric as its brand new housing - so is any of this really any fault - then they expect you just to cough up ......

next ive recieved a letter from solicitors personally sueing me for a car prang that i had back in January - one wonders what exactly my insurance company is actually doing!!!!!!! what the fuck do i pay them for!!!! plus the supid wench that i had the accident with works the building next to where i work - i just want march right over there and knock her the fuck out!!! the worst thing is the letter turned up at my mothers address which is never good - i cannot deal with it anymore im gonna end up just telling my insurance company what a bunch of pricks they are!!! luckily my mum is gonna take over - they do not wanna be dealing with me - im a complete loose cannon at the moment!!

next - Why am i the only person out of my friendship group that isn't in a relationship...ok im not doing much for my cause in this 'rant' and probably come across as verrrry angry - which i am but in normal circumstances im generally a funny and nice girl - i dont think im that bad on the eye - but clearly im not relationship material - screw them its there loss, it would be nice for a change fo to not to be the odd one out and for one of them to be the odd one 'hey what are you upto today, wanna do something? - no sorry im permanately stuck to my boyfiriends hip and should we seperate for more than 2 seconds i shall surely die '' really!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrr - if i ever get like that over a man i want to be shot by firing squad!!!!!!!
Sadly i feel the older i get the more resentment i hold towards men in general and i think its starting to show, i think men are starting to sense this from me - im never the one that pulls on a night out - men give me a very wide birth ....strange even when im smiley and i feel that i am approachable. Ive also started to notice i dont take male authority very well, most of my bosses are male, and i seem to get a lot of stick in the office....our outside sales rep said to me ''This is becasue you are the baby of the office'' well that went done like a led balloon - i was livid at such a comment, let just say i dont he will make the same mistake again!!!!
I hate that im becoming this way - i love men deep down but im sooo proud and hate the way im spoken to - i dont even tollerate my dad, if my own dad has no control over me and neve has what chance does anybody else have lol.

Yesterday whilst watching britains got talent, with my family - I was described as Susan boyle !!!!! just with out her talent - yes ok im a grumpy, ecentric girl who lives alone with her cat but really!!!!!!



I still feel quite angry about all this this morning which is unusual, i usually go to bed and mostly all emotions are wipped, im very emotional about my friends who were the only two remaing friends who were single who are now both not and feel angry that it always seems to be me thats left behind - i resent the fact that im pushed aside for there other halves but the minute they want to go out drinking or there bf is away im flavour of the month - ive never understood it and will never tollerate it even when it alienates me from people and i loose friends over it - i will not be picked up and dropped not for anyone.i love that they are happy but selfishly i want my own happiness over theirs- is that wrong? So its back to square one and im on my own again and very grateful for having my cat.....I think today i will go outinto the sunshire and go rambling around some ruined castle or abbey this is what makes me happy so i will take my camera and go on a little adventure hopefully i will come back my old self.