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autrix

San Francisco

Member Since 2004

Followers 113 Following 76

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Thursday Mar 18, 2004

Mar 18, 2004
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I think I need to vent.

I'm so hurt, by everyone- but especially the only one that matters.

That one girl, the one that fucking stole my heart like 4 months ago treats me like shit... I dont blame her though... I wouldnt want me around either.

The usual day we hang out is Thursday, and It's every Thursday that all my contentment is lost. I know deep down she wants nothing from me, but deep down she's all I want.

As we all know last Thursday was to be Pirate and Ice Cream day- which of course even fewer of us know that it didnt happen. Yes folks, I got stood up. All I can think is that I did something wrong, and it tears me up inside thinking about it.

If this is love, love sucks.

I've never been in a mutual caring relationship- I only want what I can't have. It's Thursday again and I haven't spoken to her now for like a week and a half, and on this day I'm on the verge of tears.

There was a time when she ditched me for a month before, during January. It's like I sit idle waiting for her to call. and of course I call her and she doesn't answer- which just makes me feel even worse each time it happens. But last thursday was the day before my wisdom teeth surgery. When she stood me up I wasnt angry, I was wondering if I would ever hear from her again... Two thursdays in a row and I'm just terrifyed I wont speak to her anymore. Even if all we are is friends- I care about her, and I need her.

Why is it I only want what I cant have, Am I that destined to have my heart shattered and never repaired?

Having read this I really could use some advice. seriously, I can't get over this girl on my own. I need your help telling me how to do it.

I've tried to hook up with other girls and it doesnt work. It's not the same.


-----------------------

Please give me advice on how to get better.

Thank you all for reading.

Also- does anyone wanna take me out and get my mind off it?

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