You know what? Yeah, neither do I.
So I didn't do much of anything these last 2 days... Yesterday I was so down that I didn't even want to leave the house. I went out and saw Batman- it was good, but I just can't get into watching Batman as a real life person, Eh whatever... Today I was worse, cause I knew that I should just get out and hand out resumes, but I didn't. I went to the Blind Onion of NE 35th... It was ride out... I just hung out with my friend Erin and watched crappy TV, Beers, Connect 4, Yahtzee, Pizza... Thank God for that, it's good to know that I can b e social -without having to drink shitloads- from time to time- even though Erin is movin to NY in August...
Coincidentally- I'm considering moving. I just finished school and I'm finding out that most of the good places in PDX think my school is a joke! Fuck them! Maybe some of the schools students are shit, but I ain't! Fuck! So I'm not ready to be a Sous Chef after a week in a new restaurant, that shit doesn't mean I can't fucking cook! FUCK! I work my goddamn ass off!
*sigh* It doesn't matter, I kinda think that I'm skrewed here. This town is turning quite depressing. My situation right now might be worse than it was when I made the exodus out of Boston... At least I had a job that I didn't give a shit about there. Here I can't find a job that I do care about- and I seem to be incapable of doing anything social that doesn't involve drinking. I can't drink all the time! Sometimes is great but all the time is not... It fucking affects me in aweful ways! I'm talking suicidal affects- sometimes. At least in B-Town I had cheep weed hook-ups! *sigh* At least I can laugh when I get high, when I drink I just get low. Life bites.
Right. Who cares. Gripe Gripe Gripe. Ah well, I hope everyone else is doing well. You aughta let me know, ya-know... Well, actually I'll jus check out the Journals... Sorry to be a bitch guys... I've just been to low for too long...
So I didn't do much of anything these last 2 days... Yesterday I was so down that I didn't even want to leave the house. I went out and saw Batman- it was good, but I just can't get into watching Batman as a real life person, Eh whatever... Today I was worse, cause I knew that I should just get out and hand out resumes, but I didn't. I went to the Blind Onion of NE 35th... It was ride out... I just hung out with my friend Erin and watched crappy TV, Beers, Connect 4, Yahtzee, Pizza... Thank God for that, it's good to know that I can b e social -without having to drink shitloads- from time to time- even though Erin is movin to NY in August...
Coincidentally- I'm considering moving. I just finished school and I'm finding out that most of the good places in PDX think my school is a joke! Fuck them! Maybe some of the schools students are shit, but I ain't! Fuck! So I'm not ready to be a Sous Chef after a week in a new restaurant, that shit doesn't mean I can't fucking cook! FUCK! I work my goddamn ass off!
*sigh* It doesn't matter, I kinda think that I'm skrewed here. This town is turning quite depressing. My situation right now might be worse than it was when I made the exodus out of Boston... At least I had a job that I didn't give a shit about there. Here I can't find a job that I do care about- and I seem to be incapable of doing anything social that doesn't involve drinking. I can't drink all the time! Sometimes is great but all the time is not... It fucking affects me in aweful ways! I'm talking suicidal affects- sometimes. At least in B-Town I had cheep weed hook-ups! *sigh* At least I can laugh when I get high, when I drink I just get low. Life bites.
Right. Who cares. Gripe Gripe Gripe. Ah well, I hope everyone else is doing well. You aughta let me know, ya-know... Well, actually I'll jus check out the Journals... Sorry to be a bitch guys... I've just been to low for too long...
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
synfull:
voodoo, i don't mean to be so intrusive (and you can take this with a grain of salt, or a dose of truth, because i really am clinically crazy) but getting some help for the overwhelming feelings that make you want to drink, or that drinking can mask/numb/ease/intensify, would be of great benefit and a huge relief to you (tackling the underlying emotional shit/ whatever's going on in your brain, with help... can set you free, brother)
les:
well hopefully you won't move before i move into town and we can hang out and EAT! 