automatic

Le Sigh






Alright, that won't do for a practical update. It's far too vague.

Right now I feel sad.

Whole, and sad.

I feel like the man who has rocked away the days repeating over and over to himself "I'm not sad, and I'm not alone. The world is gorgeous!" As if by saying it enough it would make it true.

But every so often I have to stop and catch my breath and take a real stock of myself.

I do think the world is gorgeous.

It's also very large and very lonely.

Of course, I keep this stuff to myself for the most part.

It's very self indulgent of me to even poste this, because it looks to others to be a cry for attention.

It's funny that, I'm not much of an attention needer. I mean everyone loves it, but I don't always appreciate it. Most of the time the type of attention these little addmissions bring about in people only ends up hurting me more.

For someone so projected as gruff I have too many working going on in my brain.

Gotta cool the thought machine.

Gotta meditate.

I wish I could boil the world down, make it syrupy and sweet, and simple.