maybe im just frustrated because im actually in love with him
like everyone thought...hoped...
and all it took for me to realize it was the impending loss of my best friend
to some admitted whore who knows damn well shes gunna treat him like shit
im fucking confused
and so mad
and i dont know whether or not i should say soemthing to him...because maybe im just threatened by her and just dont want to lose him?
or maybe i really am just as in love as he used to say he was
maybe i should just let him go
and be thankful of the time we had
or something?
fuck i dont know someone help for christs sake!
at least its really hot out
and im getting a nice tan
and 10 days until im in CALIFORNIA
im going to go surfing i think
that will be fun
maybe pick up some guy for mindless meaningless sex just to get back at whatever im so mad at lately
i got a new job
a hooters
which is funny cuz i have MAJOR no boobs
but apparently thats quite common there...who knew?
anyways...im grumpy and thinking too much about everything
and i have a big zit coming in on my chin
and a huge test the day after tomorrow so tomorrows going to be a big yicky day of library goodness
stay pretty everyone
XO. Lou
like everyone thought...hoped...
and all it took for me to realize it was the impending loss of my best friend
to some admitted whore who knows damn well shes gunna treat him like shit
im fucking confused
and so mad
and i dont know whether or not i should say soemthing to him...because maybe im just threatened by her and just dont want to lose him?
or maybe i really am just as in love as he used to say he was
maybe i should just let him go
and be thankful of the time we had
or something?
fuck i dont know someone help for christs sake!
at least its really hot out
and im getting a nice tan
and 10 days until im in CALIFORNIA
im going to go surfing i think
that will be fun
maybe pick up some guy for mindless meaningless sex just to get back at whatever im so mad at lately
i got a new job
a hooters
which is funny cuz i have MAJOR no boobs
but apparently thats quite common there...who knew?
anyways...im grumpy and thinking too much about everything
and i have a big zit coming in on my chin
and a huge test the day after tomorrow so tomorrows going to be a big yicky day of library goodness
stay pretty everyone
XO. Lou

Hmm..since you're best friends, maybe he assumed that it was "a given" that you'd be at his birthday party, so he didn't send an invite.
Have you told him how you feel? "Dropping hints" won't always work. Remember...we're idiots and not likely to notice anything more subtle than a punch in the face.
If you're coming to California, you should definitely try to stick to the coast...It's really damn hot down where I am..something like 102 today.