aurorer

Hi my beautiful followers and the rest of SG world,

I wanted to speak about a little reason that pushed me to model, I feel that this is a very real subject to blog about, and it happens way too much in life, this isn't directed at anyone here, you are beautiful and so supportive, I am eternally grateful for the strength and love you have given to me throughout the first few months of me being a hopeful.

I wanted to show everyone that even though you look normal on the outside, your body can be attacking itself on the inside. Please guys try and show a bit of support for us people with "invisible illnesses" to you we look normal, we try to do normal things, you see us doing them, then wonder why we are struggling trying to do the exact same things the very next day. (Which we regularly do, as often it's hard to say, "actually, I'm not ok".)

Yesterday I had a doctor try to stop my pain medication, I've been on this for 10 years, they said they wouldn't supply some because she couldn't see what was going on with my body. I thought this was a terrible viewpoint for a gp, and I was actually disgusted with her behaviour. I had to fight to get pain relief that I rely on every single day and it became scary, simply because I know how much it hurts without my medication, it becomes unmanageable.

So here comes the point of my little rant; if you look at someone and can't understand what's happening to them as you can't see it, please just take a second to remember that not all disabilities are out in the open. Quite often they hide and don't show themselves. My joints dislocate and swell, and I have fibromyalgia and ibd. None of these show, and they all can be very painful to live with. They don't hold me back, but it's still fantastic to know there's a support network there. People who have depression are struggling silently too, they don't get enough support.

I'm not complaining in any way, I'm strong and I love my life, I wouldn't change it, I just wanted to show you guys the message I'm trying to send out for everyone who is struggling silently with any disability. I look like I am just an average person with a normal body, but I'm not.

It's hard to live with a disability, it's even harder when you can't show your loved ones what's wrong. It's hard when doctors don't understand your condition and you walk out feeling devastated that nobody will take on your case and deal with the problem head on. You get pushed from consultant, to doctor, to physiotherapist.

Living with an invisible illness is hard, but you guys can make it easier. Please try and understand that we aren't hypercondriacs, we aren't doing it for attention, and we definitely don't want anyone to feel sorry for us. We would love some understanding. Just please try to accept that people are different, not just on the outside, but genetically too, and show us a bit of support.

I chose to try and become a suicide girl partly because I was in love with the site, the people and the message it sends out in bright colours with gorgeous women. I also joined so I can challenge myself, and maybe try to inspire girls with a disability to join us and show the world who we are, what holds us back, and why, with your support, it'll never let us.

Thank you for reading guys.

@missy @rambo

Love, Aurorer xx