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audioofambor

Canada

Member Since 2004

Followers 149 Following 4

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Tuesday Apr 20, 2004

Apr 20, 2004
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hello darkness my old friend
i've come to talk with you again
because a vision softly creeping
left it's seeds while i was sleeping
and the vision that was planted in my brain
still remains
within the sound of silence.

ryan sister might be staying here for a WEEK now, and it totally blows... i know i still get to 'see' ryan but it's so different when he's busy being totally whipped by his sister. we don't have a chance to talk about any of our problems, or a chance to try and fix everything that's slowly tearing us apart.

he says he doesn't have money to buy me a ring, and that's why it's been like five months since he told me he'd buy one and he still hasn't... but he goes and buys a 500$ digital camera the other day. perfect timing, since i am not allowing him to take any naked pictures of me ever again, and i don't really want any regular pictures taken, because what are they for? his myspace account? doubtful, since it's purpose is to meet cute internet girls and therefore his profile is completely lacking in amber content. it makes me sick how much i care about him, and how i just want to tell that to the world, and yell it from rooftops, and make it quite evident in my sg account. but he just wants to pretend i don't exist.

so. many. little. things. lately.
that just make me feel like he doesn't fucking care. i don't know if it's our relationship degrading but it's like... i feel miles away from him now. i can't even sleep naked with him, and he was so excited for me to come home so we could sleep together, but it's like you would harldly even know there were two people in that bed. we stuck to our own sides.

it's all so fucking sad.

and he ordered food for him and his sister last night and none for me. so i didn't eat all fucking day, and then tried to drink my problems away, and i have the worst fucking headache this morning.

life blows.
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
superflea:
And now I know. smile

Incidentally, posing with a Nintendo controller is absolutely unfair to us poor geeks. biggrin
Apr 21, 2004
endlessben:
I thought we already were kinda semi friend-sy people kinda?

How is everything going your fella and his kin?
Apr 21, 2004

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