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yesterday i went to the nudest beach and lay naked in the sun drinking stella artois. old people in their birthday suits strutted around me and some guy (no joke) was jerking off behind a tree ten feet from me. everytime i would look at him he would make a sign as if to shoosh me. i had to laugh. on any other given day i might have decked him one, but yesterday i put my anger up on a shelf and couldn't give a fuck about anything.

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on another note, may i add again my hatred for bachelor parties.

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my heart belongs to a tiger. he has it all. if you want a piece of it you must confront his paws.