aubli

am still sick, and fell hotly asleep rather than hanging out with people tonight. theres changeling tomorrow, and a programming lock-in this weekendi hope i am better by then.

i have a peculiar kind of dizziness, sometimesnormally stress-related (i think), because i have come to associate it with the presence of my family. but sometimes it comes in times of simple stress-of-the-body. i stand upvertigoonly to sink back down in momentary confusion of where i am, how old i am, and whether im living with my family or notmy parents, who (comfortingly predictable) will be annoyed at my persistent dizzy spells and insist that i must eat more.

but theyre not here, and neither is xie, or my younger brother or sister. i think i halfway cherish that strange temporal-spatial ambiguity. its stranger and more wonderful still when, as i come out of it, fatespawn walks through the doorway like a visitor from my future. but i do miss my people.

shall be nyquiled again, tonight. ive already napped, and not yet eateni suppose thatd be the thing to do.

have begun re-reading bruno bettelheims book on the psychology of fairy tales, which so fascinated me in my younger youth. lolita (another recent read) was missing a chunk of her authors afterword, battered as she wasa real pity. but yes; is nice to come back to this book on fairy tales and be aware of my own changed perspectivewhat with the reading (orality and literacy) and the roleplaying (which i dont suck at so blatantly anymore) i bring a neat new viewpoint to it. it makes me want to research and write a paper, to be honest.