am suffering from the usual post-home visit depression. i miss xie badly.
am comforting my empty spaces by stuffing them full of practical thoughts... i need to finish up my art homework, but i keep poking about online. have decided that if darden does not shake my hand and enfold me in its arms, then i can always work at bodo's bagels or somesuch...
it makes me sad to look about in cyberspace and see jobs even beyond darden that i would dearly love to have, with regular laundry lists of things i've yet to learn dangling off them. "Primary skills strong familiarity with Linux, Windows NT/2000/98, Flash scripting and back-end integration. Strong HTML, Perl, PHP and JavaScript skills and familiarity with Apache and MySQL." i have a passing knowledge of all these things, but could i get by? what exactly does "strong familiarity with linux" entail? i can navigate it, given a windows-like setup, and i'm not intimidated by having to do funky things to access my CD-ROM drive. but that doesn't make me feel "strong," per se...
perhaps i should have been an engineering school student. or an art major. or gone to a school that fecking had a decent digital art program, as the human resources guy intimated the other day... i was clueless about colleges as a high schooler, i wasn't about to taint myself with the real world - how was i to know?
it isn't that i don't very much want to learn this stuff, either... perhaps i will contact these companies anyway, perhaps they can create an opening, i'd be a peon for hire, honestly, if i could only get closer to all this knowledge. i can touch upon it on my own, sure, but self-conceived, self-driven projects can only help you get your feet so wet - i need to get my hands good and dirty. there's quite the difference.
i should go to career services this friday and find somebody to talk to.
meanwhile, i saw a rugby girl at the gym today. it warmed my heart - she, too, was at the lat pull-down and really and truly working at it. usually i'm quite the nosy one, but somehow it didn't cross my mind to try and spy and see how much weight she was doing. dammit, now i'm curious. feel good about how i'm doing - spring break really hasn't seemed to take my edge off all that much. when i do bicep curls you can see my shoulder muscle too. i'm such a beast, heh.
i have this urge to spell bicep as "bicept" - like in "reciept."
speaking of which, at work my username is lantzl (assigned that way, naturally, following the typical username patterns). every time i type it i think of that mythic bird, the quetzl...
i'm so glad to be back here with fatespawn again. i've definitely missed people here... i just wish i didn't feel so damn sad.
am comforting my empty spaces by stuffing them full of practical thoughts... i need to finish up my art homework, but i keep poking about online. have decided that if darden does not shake my hand and enfold me in its arms, then i can always work at bodo's bagels or somesuch...
it makes me sad to look about in cyberspace and see jobs even beyond darden that i would dearly love to have, with regular laundry lists of things i've yet to learn dangling off them. "Primary skills strong familiarity with Linux, Windows NT/2000/98, Flash scripting and back-end integration. Strong HTML, Perl, PHP and JavaScript skills and familiarity with Apache and MySQL." i have a passing knowledge of all these things, but could i get by? what exactly does "strong familiarity with linux" entail? i can navigate it, given a windows-like setup, and i'm not intimidated by having to do funky things to access my CD-ROM drive. but that doesn't make me feel "strong," per se...
perhaps i should have been an engineering school student. or an art major. or gone to a school that fecking had a decent digital art program, as the human resources guy intimated the other day... i was clueless about colleges as a high schooler, i wasn't about to taint myself with the real world - how was i to know?
it isn't that i don't very much want to learn this stuff, either... perhaps i will contact these companies anyway, perhaps they can create an opening, i'd be a peon for hire, honestly, if i could only get closer to all this knowledge. i can touch upon it on my own, sure, but self-conceived, self-driven projects can only help you get your feet so wet - i need to get my hands good and dirty. there's quite the difference.
i should go to career services this friday and find somebody to talk to.
meanwhile, i saw a rugby girl at the gym today. it warmed my heart - she, too, was at the lat pull-down and really and truly working at it. usually i'm quite the nosy one, but somehow it didn't cross my mind to try and spy and see how much weight she was doing. dammit, now i'm curious. feel good about how i'm doing - spring break really hasn't seemed to take my edge off all that much. when i do bicep curls you can see my shoulder muscle too. i'm such a beast, heh.
i have this urge to spell bicep as "bicept" - like in "reciept."
speaking of which, at work my username is lantzl (assigned that way, naturally, following the typical username patterns). every time i type it i think of that mythic bird, the quetzl...
i'm so glad to be back here with fatespawn again. i've definitely missed people here... i just wish i didn't feel so damn sad.
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Don't get stressed about jobs. I'm 27 and I'm still dying to try a new career everyday. LOL.