atticusgray

so today begins a new season... spring. everything still feels the same, but in time i'll sure that'll change. maybe not everything feels the same...

slowly i do feel things coming back together. i finally feel as though the past is becoming just that... the past. it's over, and now it's time to start focusing on all the tomorrows that are ahead of me.

this is my last week working nights, and college has only a little over a month left in duration. i've figured a lot out for myself, and the light keeps getting brighter. i just can't wait to take the big step, and leave this place. to start something new. a fresh beginning.

it's funny... sometimes the way things come to end. life isn't easier, but in a way i wouldn't want it to be. if everything was easy to acheive, the victory wouldn't be as fulfilling. it wouldn't be as sweet. the more blood, sweat and tears that are put into something make the end results so much more refreshing. nothing can explain that feeling. nor equal it's power.

i'm still inconclusive as to one thing. relationships. do i want one? or should i just keep to myself, and walk the path on my own? it's hard to say. it's so nice having someone around in life, to hold and hold back. to share the victory with. on the flip side though, they can cause so much pain. so much uncertainty. broken trust and insecurities. certainly all things come at a price.

i miss that. i miss having a "her" in my life.