atti

Two blogs in one day.. it's like your favorite clothing store going on sale... except I'm not a store selling merchandise, just shitty ramblings. Today was a "good" day, when I gazed at my reflection in the mirror I didn't feel an uncontrollable urge to gouge out my eyes with a salad fork (yes I have some class). Two days in a row.. thats gotta be a record for me. Yet as the day progressed and I found myself getting tired at 7pm, I realized that good things don't last too long. It's funny how an observation, even noticing something small, can radically alter a mood. I won't go into specifics, but needless to say I noticed something in chat that made me sit up and take notice. Before I receive comments asking if it was someone's breasts, the answer is no sadly. Although that would make me take notice, but this wasn't just some natural male reaction. It was more a response to an observation. I'm just as much a people watcher in there as I am in the real world, taking mental notes as I go along.. for what reason I don't know. Maybe I think it will come in handy in a future situation? Who knows.

It's 1130 now, almost the close of a day and the beginning of another one. The lights in the apartment are all off, except the tiny lamp in the corner of my small room. Sometimes I feel as if I am the only one awake through the night, searching for someone else to be awake with me. Not just any person mind you, someone with substance, with depth that can actual make some dents in my life, a lasting impression that will make me remember for more than a day. Yet I feel myself disappointed except for a few new friends that have recently entered my life. It's not fair to solely depend on one or two individuals all the time. I think they call that selfish? or needy? Some new fandangled terms the crazy kids of today are using... anywho, I try not to be that person. Writing helps to a point, but I can only bleed ink onto paper for so many hours before I feel like a broken record is playing in my head. I want to listen to a new track please..

I do take comfort in the fact that there are some people reading and/or commenting my writings. Gives me the feeling that this process is not only beneficial for me but also informative/entertaining for you, the audience. I always like writing for a crowd, even if I were to receive a negative response from something I wrote. Just good to know people take a minute or two out of their day to see what Marcus has to say and believe me I always have something to say.

And now I feel I've said my piece, even if it was nonsensical and really not all that informative. I suppose its back to more writing and the listening of music that make me recall memories... good and bad.