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atrasties

Canada

Member Since 2002

Followers 96 Following 231

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Saturday Feb 01, 2003

Jan 31, 2003
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I have torn my heart into a million pieces and tried to give a bit to everyone I know and there still seems to be no end to the people I meet and wish to share with but along the road I keep finding bits of discarded flesh and I just can't keep picking up and dusting off. Where does the road end and will there be enough of me to finish the journey or will I be a shell, a shattered mirror image of the man I once was. I once told someone that I would never let my heart cool and always offer it freely but I just can't tell where it will end and what happens when there is no more heart left to keep aflame. The deepest fires still burn but other fires burn too, pain and loss are cold fires that creep steadily through my body coursing down my spine to lick the heels and turn my feet from the path.

I turn to the night sky and scream at the darkness in the hopes that someone will answer; whether it's to tell me to shut the fuck up and go inside or a bolt from the heavens providing an answer or an end. Nothing comes not neighbors, police or diviine intervention and thats when the cold seeps. Does anyone listen; how alone can billions of people who all have the same questions be when they are in the same world together; just inches apart and no one hears you scream.

So tired, of so many things and yet tomorrow I'll wake and be a drone again, looking to live and eke out and passing people just like me right now looking for some sign that they aren't alone. That they won't continue to be alone, that every hopeless romantic finds the other half, or 2/3's or whatever they need to feel whole and loved and alive and vibrant instead of just living the motions. A dynamic part of the cosmos, isn't that the goal. Aren't we striving for a purpose; or is it just some charlatans carousel, spinning aimlessly in the same direction till the end of time, no divergence no direction no point. I want to get off now please, I want it to spin backwards or go faster or do something that shakes the shit out of everyone and we all open our eyes at the same time and see how close to each other we are. How loud is the breath of everyone, how similar, how different we are and it's all good; all of it,

it's life.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
rowan_would:
You are not mistaken...

I 'borrowed' the image of water bearer breasts as an hommage to all the lascivious Aquarians out there....just in time for birthday celebrations.

****************************************

BTW...the purpose of it all will be unveiled...but perhaps not as quickly as one hopes for. In the meantime...I encourage any behaviour that wakes us up a little (or alot). May it start with you..
Feb 2, 2003
demigauge:
*hugs* your not alone friend... i'm here whenever you need me .ok?

Feb 2, 2003

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