atomicant

ok, now for an explanation of my ball waxing experience.

first off, DON'T EVER DO IT. it's painful. like worse than a prostate exam painful. bad bad bad.

the only reason i let my naughty bits get defoliated is because our lovely trixie recently got a job as an junk hair remover here in portland, and at her new job, even though she has handled many a man's ugly bits, she had to take a 'check ride' in front of her supervisor. me, being the dumb and well intentioned asshole i am, and not knowing that trixie is a sadistic and man hating BITCH, volunteered my most intimate of organs for her use, so she can pay the rent and keep buying ramen noodles.

to be honest, that's the longest i've had two attractive women staring at my genitals for an extended period of time, and they barely laughed. ok, i lied. they laughed like fucking maniacs, because after about 20 seconds my penis retracted up to the same zip code as my heart and i looked like a fucking 6 year old, especially after they were done inflicting untold amounts of pain on me.

but, on the upside, i had two women manhandle my bishop in a turtleneck while my girlfriend watched, and occasionally encouraged them to.