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well it's over now. We just broke it off last night. Apparently I was being used to get back at her ex because he supposedly cheated oh her with some other broad. I was initially crushed, but then I stepped back and thought bout how silly I was being the entire time. Plus I got me some nookie, so my draught is finally over, now...
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emilygee:
"the ssssh, the bad" is a euphamism i picked up for "the sex." always a plus. i'm going to look up some 'q and not u' just as soon as i can. i'm super tired today. saw the breeders last night and had a blast. got to 'rib' pacey from dawson's creek as he was being a creepy barfly and blocking access to more beer. we discussed his theory of how one could probably write a logrithmic math equation to assess the progression in the spring to summer months that women wear less and less clothing. random.
starsandsmokes:
... not bad, a little vindictive, yes? i say just forget the whole thing happened, you were just confused by emotions that had long been boxed up and ended up presenting themselves in a strange way...
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Thanks everyone for your heartfelt input. A lot of really good points were present and I appreciate them all. I think the one that caught my eye that I never really considered was the level of emotional maturity. Reason being is I don't know how mature I am honestly. We've talked about our past relationships and from what I've pieced together it sounds like she's...
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emilygee:
No problem at all. I think I will be able to see Cursive twice as well... possible three times (if I only had the money.) I will not be going to Coachella. There are no ins and outs... huge sweaty crowds... you don't get as close to the band as you'd like... all that jazz. I'm going to be seeing them at a smaller venue in Hollywood. I'm pretty stoked. There some weird two degree seperation between Tim Kasher and I that I'm going to try and work when they're in town. I'd love to meet him. We'll see.

Your girl sounds (despite the accolades) like she's going into this whole thing pretty lukewarm. Let her do her thing -- be patient (I know, it sucks, I have the same impetuous-ness bug) -- and you'll see where it's heading. Either you'll both start to really dig each other in equal quantities, or not. If she acts rash, recall that she is only 18. Remember 18? It sucked. I certainly wasn't even half the human being I am now at 18. A lot happens in the 6-7 years of your early twenties. Am I rambling? I think perhaps I am...

Then again, the ol' circle yes, no or maybe note worked pretty well back then. Go for it. wink
emilygee:
Hey, listen. Relationships and dating are not supposed to be so anxiety ridden. It always sucks if someone does not reciprocate feelings, but sometimes that happens. Also, sometimes the other person is not so hot at conveying exactly what they are feeling and that anxiety can ultimately hurt what could be a great fledgling relationship. I think you also need to realize that if this girl doesn't work out, there will certainly be more. Relationships are not supposed to be there to rescue you from situations (that turns into co-dependency), but rather as a way to accentuate yourself as you already are and even assist you in becoming a better individual. Never lose you sense of self. Certainly rejection is an ego-slam... but this girl hasn't rejected you at all yet. It seems that you are entering into this relationship expecting that and trying to do everything possible to ensure that that will not happen. Why try? You have her right now. If she at all senses the kind of rejection anxiety that you are feeling, that may plant the seed in her head. Or, it may make you come across and unsure of yourself or even needy. Girls generally don't stick around if they feel like they are not on a level playing field with the person they are dating. Simply, be you. Don't be this-girl's-boyfriend or the-guy-this-girl-seems-to-want-to-date or anything else except yourself. If she doesn't like you, fuck her. If she does, all the better. There are millions of girls out there. I'm sure that in your lifetime you'll find more than a few that fit your mold. Don't put all your eggs in one basket and take a deep breath. If you get caught in the details you'll forget what you were looking for in the first place.

I should take my own advice. I hope the above is not too rambly and make a little sense...
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Things are going abit weird with my new interest. I'm afraid she's setting me up for some serious disappointment. I don't know how to confront it or what to do to prepare myself. But I want to try to alleviate as much as possible. How strange are girls. I don't think I smother anyone, and is it possible to do so in the first week...
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emilygee:
You have to remember... she is a young'n. Not as emotionally mature as you would probably hope for. Give her some time/space/etc. and let her helm that ship for a while.

I've been away as I took Friday off of work and do not have the glorious invention of Internet on my apartment. So, I am completely dependent on my working hours to post, check-in, journal, etc..

I'm quite excited to check out the music. I will let you know my thoughts. (Get your Cursive tickets while you can!)
lostinage:
Ok.. take from me, i'm a total man pimp dog.

No seriously i'm not but really give it like between 2 and 3 days.. its a nice safe amount of time. You want SOME space in the begining.. its not a bad thing if you call, and doesnt make you seem forward at all. BUT once you call man be fucking to the point.. dont do the hey lets hang out stuff, if you like her you make sure its known that you want a freaking date dude.

Women are freaking weird.. they creep me out sometimes because its like they always come at you with this new attack wave or some shit and the dating scene these days is WAY more screwed than in the old days.
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I finally got the hook up today. It's been a long long time, and it was definately in need. I Was on cloud nine for the rest of the day, chipper and happy at work. Funny I never thought Gamecube could be used as an aphrodiziac. Please be happy for me, I haven't had my just desserts in a very long time. eeek love biggrin
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sal_paradise:
atta boy. had to happen one of these years...
syberea:
woo hoo!! it about time there boyo!! congrats biggrin
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syberea:
err... well now normailly i think that age difference is no big deal but usaully that starts after 20 and is resricted to a 15 year age difference. this isnt so bad though. i would say if there is chemistry why fight it. besides you need to get laid right? go for it dude!! weeee.
syberea:
ha, ha, fucking ha...
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psuedo.

Like that word, attach it to so many things and your an instant genius. Okay maybe not, but it's fun to say.

Saw Eternal Sunshine... left me feeling very happy; surprisingly. Kaufman movies are titilatingly poignant. David Cross always a topper. "I'm building birdhouses!"

Maybe I'll see Dawn of the Dead tomorrow? who the hell knows anymore.
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anotherlostsoul:
Why does every picture of you look different? You could be a master of disguise...
sal_paradise:
Well, I'm back. I love that city. Can definitely see living there sometime. I'll have pix aplenty to show when we next meet.

yeah, the pink profile picture of you is ok...dunno bout the other.always hold the camera above you...
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well my work schedule has been changed again. I'm doing mostly mid and closing shifts. I like it cause I can sleep in and go out, but the period from when I get up to when I go to work is boring and listless. I'm afraid to get into anything, cause I might get hooked then I'll have to leave. I need to get the...
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mallory:
it has its ups and downs.. im thinking about nyc next.. it gets old seeing everyone you know (and usually dont want to talk to) all the time.. kind of that small town sort of feeling.. id like to be lost for a while.. but id stil reccomend it.. i like it way better than most of the places ive lived (including miami.. dc.. and baltimore)
mallory:
edited because i noticed i spelled something incorrectly.. and i tried to go back and fix... it was too late though

[Edited on Mar 17, 2004 11:13AM]
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now I have a guitar and no one to show me how it works... Starsandsmokes has gone abroad to marry this fine philly... Sinn I wish them mucho luck and happiness.

The trip down was long, BWI wasn't busy though, and I made it home in record time...now I'm gonna go North and check out some Thrifty thrift marts...
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kate:
oh and, ill check out the comedian you suggested, smile
although just to warn ya, i normally *hate* american comics unless theyre bill hicks.
its a sarcasm thing i guess.
most americans dont have it like bill does!
gravesforthedays:
Thanks for checking it out, It's not up right now, I'm trying to get the website finished before I start up the station again.
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Cross the field to catch the fly
Ass lit up like fouro july
Giggles spilling, feet tangle
Tumble awkward, legs limp dangle
Quiet sky done hushed that fly
Your teary eyes just cry and cry
Caught between your fingers fore
Dead yellow guts and glowing gore
Here you sat in quandary wonder
Realized the secret plunder
A crisp new reason to run
Squishing bug by...
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