astilllife

I feel like I should be writing more but I haven't since I've been at home most this last week. I haven't done any work really, well, a little. I was experiencing one of those temporary burn outs that come with being a grad student. But, I somehow got off my ass last night, came down here, and got a little work done. Kinda tough when I spent most of that time im'ing Pauline. God, I talk to her almost every day, and we've only gotten together once. It'll be twice tonight. We're heading to some place in Richmond, grab some food, and then enjoy the band performing there. I think this is the first girl I've met where I didn't feel like I had to be in total control of my actions towards her. Dating is supposed to be fun but with all of the girls I've met, there's always an "issue". Or, I have to watch exactly when I call them so I don't come across as being clingy or trying to control their time. Or they im me trying to get me to call them (thats how it feels to me). That game shit is gay...straight up pillow biting gay (and no, I have no problems with homosexuals). Granted, I'm not going to assume a commitment with anybody, so I can see other girls. But, finally, I met a normal girl. I like the fact she will actually call/im me and it doesn't feel like I'm being lured into contact with her. My friend Rob said I should have fun with this game called dating...I really don't find it fun at all. I don't want to call a girl who said she would call me and doesn't. Christ, even a text or a quick "hey, sorry I'm calling a couple days after I said I would, but I'm busy and can we talk later?". It does sound a bit girly...no, its a human response that both men and women experience. It's disappointing but you have to learn to say to yourself "her loss" or "I haven't got time for this shit". If one person wants to play the game and the other doesn't, I don't think things can work.