aster

how are y'all? i see that my fantasy hasn't come true yet! sigh.

so...this year's present from my mother: a Biotherm "Biopur Instant Touch Pore Refiner." mom has always cared way more about my skin than i have. in fact, she's been on a mission to improve my looks since i was a teenager. she can't seem to accept that one daughter was born quiet and ladylike with perfect, milky-white skin, and the other popped out red, blotchy, hairy and screaming.

every year, mom would have a new potion or lotion for me to try: creams and gels to treat my pimples and scars, "purifying" toners for my greasy skin, whiteners for the freckles on my neck, and, yup, wrinkle creams. "mom, i'm 15!!" i roared, to no avail. i would dutifully apply the new goo every night and my mother would inspect my face for improvements. "wah! skin still not too good!" she would say, shaking her head. "but it really look smoother now!"

so last night, i tried the "Instant Touch Pore Refiner." the copy on the box reads, "Large pores tighten under your fingertips. Skin's texture is instantly refined!" i hate to say this, mom, but no amount of delicate dabbing will "refine" my pores. these suckers are big enough to drive a car through. and though i'm loathe to admit it (at the decrepit age of 31), we should really still be working on my acne problem...