assface

interesting night tonight. i actually left the apartment.
i cuddled. thats what i wanted
i dont know how i feel about that. i feel like im trying to force myself not to feel too good about it. im trying not to set myself up for a disapointment when this person decides ive said the wrong thing again.
its amazing to me how different things can feel and seem if there is something wonderful when you fall asleep and again when you wake up (there isnt but i remembered what thats like).
i also bought 2 shirts. that is really impressive for me. all i need is a thin black tie and i will have a new outfit for the next 3 years.
it rained tonight as well. when its raining things seem so much more tolerable. when its raining i just feel like myself. when irs raining i dont need no pretty face, dont need no human race.
i also finished the book "School of Fish" by the lesbian poet Eileen Myles. it was way over my head.