ashen_crib

it's strange to have your current girlfriend and your ex-girlfriend get along so well. i've always wanted to stay friends with jacqui and i'm glad that friendship is possible still despite the changes and distance between us.

it's even stranger to read back on journals and see your ex-girlfriend become an online friend to another ex-girlfriend of mine due to the fact that i wrote some highly explicit entries once.

i'm always surprised at the irony of the world. people connect and some connections are lost for a time. i feel kind of hurt to have read the "behind my back" stuff that most people don't get to be privy to. that's ok though. we all hurt and are hurt. it's part of being human. i can completely understand why they felt that they couldn't talk to me about life.

i guess making major life choices deserved a more delicate hand than my own. i wish i hadn't shocked my friends so much. however i still find it interesting that they opted for silence leaving nicole to be pretty much my only outlet. and she's been great. always accepting of my strange tastes.

it's just sad i guess when you realize..."oh shit i revealed way too much about me". i think i liked it better when i was just mysterious and weird. now that the "ugly" truth is out...reaching out to the past is going to be harder than i thought.

just random thoughts guys. sorry.