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asha_man

San Antonio, Tx

Member Since 2009

Followers 29 Following 30

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Monday May 04, 2009

May 4, 2009
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A man died in front of me today.

I say this with almost a sense of awe. I went into the room to do a routine set of vitals and he was obviously not breathing right with his Bipap. He was at about 30 respirations per minute and told me that he felt like the oxygen had been turned off. His blood pressure was fine, so his nurse left the room, but I knew this guy wasn't ok. I felt for a pulse and there was no rhyme or rhythm to it. Then his eyes stopped tracking and he began to twitch. I stepped to the door and yelled that he wasn't breathing. When I came back in his face was turning blue. It swept from his left temple across the rest of his face. They yelled for the code. One of the doctors happened to be on the floor. Within 30 seconds the room was filled with nurses and anesthetists and respiratory therapists. They were throwing down Epi and Bicarb, bagging the guy, breaking ribs with chest compressions. It didn't matter. He was dead before they walked in.

Each time someone dies I try to be in the room. This time I was going to do chest compressions but the doctor called it before I could get in there. Guy threw a PE. It took about 3 minutes to go from talking to never talking again. He died a blueberry. Each time someone dies I make sure the nurse comes to get me so I can help clean the body and take out all the lines and tubes from their stay and from the code. I put the toe tag on. I help Mr. Jones get the body onto a stretcher and into a big white plastic bag. And then I can't stop cracking jokes. I make comments about the guy being "dead" weight. I laugh when Jones is in a hurry because he doesn't like this part of his job. I say, whats the rush? It's not like he's going anywhere. I can't help it. I can't stop laghing. This fascinates me. I want to work with a Medical Examiner doing autopsies. Cadavers are canvasses to me.

Its a weird and almost thrilling sensation to see the light go out in someones eyes. It shines brighter in everyone else around. In their own minds everyone is thanking whatever they believe in that it wasn't them, or someone they know. They appreciate their own life all the more.

yeah...now anyone reading this thinks i'm a giant creeper....awesome

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