Lets have a discussion ...
My sons biological father (sperm donor) decided to call my son on the telephone last night. Just ... out of the blue. I found it to be awfully strange, ya know .. since he's never called my son. Ever. Not even on his birthday! Which got me thinking that maybe he forgot when his sons birthday was in the first place, and thought it was yesterday ... but thats not likely. But it was strange, very strange! This guy has never had anything to do with his son in the entire 7 years of his existance .. and all of the sudden he wants to be father of the year?
I have mixed feelings abt this. On one hand, maybe I should be happy for my son that his father is actually starting to show interest. But Im not happy. This guy is the biggest loser on earth ... not only is he a multi-felon (drugs, violent crimes, grand theft, you name it) a very irresponsible I.V. drug user (hes even contracted hepititus from sharing needles) but he is also an ignorant bastard nazi skinhead. (yea yeah, i know what you're all thinking, but he wasnt like that when we were dating) Needless to say, I dont want the fucker around my son, influencing him in ANY way.
*sigh*
Ive raised my son MYSELF. Since I was 16 yrs old and in high school for christ sake! Its been hella rough, but I always felt good knowing that some day my son would grow up and realize what a dickhead his biological father was for never being there for him. Now, all of the sudden ... his father wants to just strut right into the picture and pickup where he left off like nothing ever happened and ride off into the sunset on a big shiny white horse?? No. Fuck all that! Why the hell should *he* get the opportunity to share the joys of my sons childhood with him .. after years of partying his ass off, being irresponsible?
Which brings me to this ...
Is it better for a child to be without a father .. if the father is a shitty person? Or is it better for the child to have a father, regardless of what he is like?
I cant help but wonder if I am being unfair.
My sons biological father (sperm donor) decided to call my son on the telephone last night. Just ... out of the blue. I found it to be awfully strange, ya know .. since he's never called my son. Ever. Not even on his birthday! Which got me thinking that maybe he forgot when his sons birthday was in the first place, and thought it was yesterday ... but thats not likely. But it was strange, very strange! This guy has never had anything to do with his son in the entire 7 years of his existance .. and all of the sudden he wants to be father of the year?
I have mixed feelings abt this. On one hand, maybe I should be happy for my son that his father is actually starting to show interest. But Im not happy. This guy is the biggest loser on earth ... not only is he a multi-felon (drugs, violent crimes, grand theft, you name it) a very irresponsible I.V. drug user (hes even contracted hepititus from sharing needles) but he is also an ignorant bastard nazi skinhead. (yea yeah, i know what you're all thinking, but he wasnt like that when we were dating) Needless to say, I dont want the fucker around my son, influencing him in ANY way.
*sigh*
Ive raised my son MYSELF. Since I was 16 yrs old and in high school for christ sake! Its been hella rough, but I always felt good knowing that some day my son would grow up and realize what a dickhead his biological father was for never being there for him. Now, all of the sudden ... his father wants to just strut right into the picture and pickup where he left off like nothing ever happened and ride off into the sunset on a big shiny white horse?? No. Fuck all that! Why the hell should *he* get the opportunity to share the joys of my sons childhood with him .. after years of partying his ass off, being irresponsible?
Which brings me to this ...
Is it better for a child to be without a father .. if the father is a shitty person? Or is it better for the child to have a father, regardless of what he is like?
I cant help but wonder if I am being unfair.
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Gypsy
I haven't talked to my father since I was 15 because he was such an ass and I'd grown to dislike him immensely.
However, I've come to realize that he is fallible and capable of succumbing to any stupid mistake I can make. Even if he did make them, he's still my father.
No matter what, eventually that child will realize this and want to know things. So if it's necessary, they can grow up without a father just fine... but it will be a harder road for them to come to grips with themselves.