When does one know when they are "home"?
I remember when I first moved to FL and would come to chicago on summer vacations ... and when I saw the city from the airplane I would think to myself "thank god I am finally HOME". But my home wasnt in chicago ... my home was in florida, although I never really felt that way.
When I finally DID move back to what I THOUGHT was my home, chicago, I couldnt stand not being near my friends in florida, and would take like 6 vacations a year just to go where I thought was my real "home".
This last vacation changed me forever. Ppl change ... and sometimes when they change they become further away from you, and sometimes they become closer. I didnt have to make the descision, it was made for me. These ppl were not my friends anymore, in fact, I barely recognized them. It was time to say goodbye to them all, forever.
Now Im standing here ... in the middle of the road. There are 2 paths in which I can take ... one is an all too familiar road to me, the one I know best. But it's lined with thorns and if I take that road, I will bleed. Possibly to death. The other road has a path, yet I cant see it because of the fog. Its so unclear, and I dont know where that road will take me or what will happen ... and I look both ways to try and decide if Id rather take my chances in the fog or hope that the thorns will someday vanish and bloom into roses. I dont know how long I will stand here in the middle of this road.
It was 96 degrees with an extremely high humidty when I left ... and I stood outside, smoking my last cigarettes before my layover in atlanta ...
me: I really didnt know how much longer I could take this
him: well we will miss you, for sure
me: you will be the only ones
him: florida isnt the same without you ... but Im sure chicago isnt the same without you either.
me: I hope its 70 degrees when I get off that plane.
I dont think I ever felt so content in my life as I did when I grabbed my bags from the upper compartment of the aircraft and walked towards the exit ... the pilot had said it was 70 degrees ... and I knew it was just because I wanted it to be ... so badly.
Stuartess: Hunny you are going to freeze out there with what you're wearin!
me: No ~laughs~ Im not.
I remember when I first moved to FL and would come to chicago on summer vacations ... and when I saw the city from the airplane I would think to myself "thank god I am finally HOME". But my home wasnt in chicago ... my home was in florida, although I never really felt that way.
When I finally DID move back to what I THOUGHT was my home, chicago, I couldnt stand not being near my friends in florida, and would take like 6 vacations a year just to go where I thought was my real "home".
This last vacation changed me forever. Ppl change ... and sometimes when they change they become further away from you, and sometimes they become closer. I didnt have to make the descision, it was made for me. These ppl were not my friends anymore, in fact, I barely recognized them. It was time to say goodbye to them all, forever.
Now Im standing here ... in the middle of the road. There are 2 paths in which I can take ... one is an all too familiar road to me, the one I know best. But it's lined with thorns and if I take that road, I will bleed. Possibly to death. The other road has a path, yet I cant see it because of the fog. Its so unclear, and I dont know where that road will take me or what will happen ... and I look both ways to try and decide if Id rather take my chances in the fog or hope that the thorns will someday vanish and bloom into roses. I dont know how long I will stand here in the middle of this road.
It was 96 degrees with an extremely high humidty when I left ... and I stood outside, smoking my last cigarettes before my layover in atlanta ...
me: I really didnt know how much longer I could take this
him: well we will miss you, for sure
me: you will be the only ones
him: florida isnt the same without you ... but Im sure chicago isnt the same without you either.
me: I hope its 70 degrees when I get off that plane.
I dont think I ever felt so content in my life as I did when I grabbed my bags from the upper compartment of the aircraft and walked towards the exit ... the pilot had said it was 70 degrees ... and I knew it was just because I wanted it to be ... so badly.
Stuartess: Hunny you are going to freeze out there with what you're wearin!
me: No ~laughs~ Im not.
VIEW 25 of 38 COMMENTS
I am so glad you are following your heart and going back to Chi-town. Rock on. I want to visit there so badly, I had such a great time the first time. I even got to see my favorite Georgia O'Keefe piece, "Clouds".
glad to hear you are home. Feels good when you are there. I feel that way when I get out of my car in Venice.
~ the angel*