I apologize, but since I dont have the internet here in florida ... I cant reply to all my messages right now. I will do that when I get home. I only have abt 20-30 minutes of internet time every few weeks or so ... and I figured I might as well use my time to update.
Im still in fucking florida. I havent gotten enough money to go to New York to visit fdnymedic and I feel like its NEVER going to happen.
Im not even sure abt anything anymore. Iwas really looking forward to that ... more than anything. Every day I spend here is a day wasted because I could have been THERE, and every day I spend here is another step towards losing faith in being able to go in the first place. Im trying as hard as I can, but thats never enough. I cant do this alone, but I also cant expect others to help when its MY problem. I just ... dont know what to do. I guess all things happen for a reason and if I never get there, then I wasnt supposed to be there in the first place. I was just ... so excited and got my hopes waaaay up. I should have known better than to do that after everything thats gone on in my life. Im not stupid, I know alllll abt murphey and his stupid law.
Things have changed dramatically since I was here last and its very dissapointing. Ive never wanted to turn in early on a vacation in my life, but no matter what I do things just never seem to go my way. *sigh*
Im not looking for a pity party here ... and maybe I will regret this entry later because I want everyone to think Im having a blast and dont have a care in the world. Please spare me the "Im sorry's".
I do miss SG and all the online bullshit that Ive gotten addicted to, but a nice long break is needed from time to time. Especially for me. I kinda need space sometimes.
I hope you are all well ... and I will see you soon.
Im still in fucking florida. I havent gotten enough money to go to New York to visit fdnymedic and I feel like its NEVER going to happen.
Im not even sure abt anything anymore. Iwas really looking forward to that ... more than anything. Every day I spend here is a day wasted because I could have been THERE, and every day I spend here is another step towards losing faith in being able to go in the first place. Im trying as hard as I can, but thats never enough. I cant do this alone, but I also cant expect others to help when its MY problem. I just ... dont know what to do. I guess all things happen for a reason and if I never get there, then I wasnt supposed to be there in the first place. I was just ... so excited and got my hopes waaaay up. I should have known better than to do that after everything thats gone on in my life. Im not stupid, I know alllll abt murphey and his stupid law.
Things have changed dramatically since I was here last and its very dissapointing. Ive never wanted to turn in early on a vacation in my life, but no matter what I do things just never seem to go my way. *sigh*
Im not looking for a pity party here ... and maybe I will regret this entry later because I want everyone to think Im having a blast and dont have a care in the world. Please spare me the "Im sorry's".
I do miss SG and all the online bullshit that Ive gotten addicted to, but a nice long break is needed from time to time. Especially for me. I kinda need space sometimes.
I hope you are all well ... and I will see you soon.
VIEW 25 of 56 COMMENTS
Not sure if this is helpful, but there are lots of ride-shares available - I know there are HEAPS of them via Craig's List for NYC
(CLICK HERE!)
it may only cost you a few bucks for gas, or maybe nothing at all - but there's always a way