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ash

NY

SG Since 2003

Followers 2353 Following 1267

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Monday Apr 21, 2008

Apr 21, 2008
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I'm so tired of this whole masquerade we live in, day in and day out. Even with the ones we're closest to, why do we always have to hide behind the masks? I imagine everyone does it differently for different ppl and for different reasons, but shit ... who the hell *is* everyone?! I mean REALLY? It's like living in the twilight zone ... eternally! One day Steve is a rabbit and next Tuesday he's a fucking cat. Is he really a rabbit, or is he really a cat? Or is he BOTH, switching off? Aaaah, he's just a regular guy and I'm being overly dramatic. Everyone is fickle and disembled because life itself is inconsistent and we all bend, shape, and mold according to what the situation calls for. This sounds logical to you, right?



***NEWSFLASH*** Do you hate/love your life? Well you can thank your goddamned self for that, because there are NEVER any other factors involved in the creation and status of a persons life other than the person themselves. whatever

But seriously? If I hear the phrase "your life is what u make it" ONE more fucking time ... u will most likely never see me again because I am going to turn my masquerade of a life into a massacre. Especially if the person who says it to me is sitting on a throne that's ten feet higher than the rubbish I'm standing on just because they fucked the right person to get where they are.

shocked Oh My!

The other day I was signing some paper that I had to date and I casually asked the lady servicing me if it was the 12th, and she kindly responded with "no maam, it's the 18th". Jesus, I need to get my ass back to work like NOW. Who the HELL deleted the phone number to the guy who was setting me up with that interview off my answering machine? blackeyed

Last night I found one of my rats covered in blood and he couldnt breathe. I gathered the poor guy up and saw that he had obviously been in one hell of a fight because there was a bite mark on his nose that had apparently penetrated the entire left side of his nasal cavity and it was blocked with blood and swollen like woah. I suctioned most of it out and wiped him down as much as I could, as he started to breathe out of his right nostril. The man stayed up with him after I finally dosed myself to sleep at around 5am, and when I awoke at 8 he was doing much better. He seems to be acting normal today, thank god. But I searched and searched every little rat we oen for signs of blood to see who the culprit was ... sadly, we will never know.

My net is still down/up/down/up, so I never know when Im going to have access to the site or any of my accounts. I got so desperate for some internet action that I tried going to starfucks for their wifi, and they told me I had to pay $20 a month to use theirs, lol!! Uhhh ... FUCK OFF? Then I went over to Panera and used theirs, just to find out that this site was blocked. After checking my email ... I realized I was pretty damn bored being online without sg, hahaha. I get a lotta kicks off this site, I guess I needed a reminder. smile

~So if your best friend or closest family member was doing something terrible that would have serious consequences, but telling them would be extremely painful ... would u feel obligated to tell them, or would u just keep quiet in order to keep the "peace" between you's two's?

~A friend of mine really wants to know why all women are bat-shit crazy. Well, seeing as I am a woman ... he asked *me*, however, I have no theories as to WHY all women are bat-shit crazy, I just know that they are. Do YOU have a theory on this?

~Do u ever wonder where ppl GO when they sign off the internet suddenly without explanation? lol. I love to make up my own elaborate stories on this one. U can tell me yours if u like wink
VIEW 25 of 39 COMMENTS
stephykinns:
i will never understand people. if you look at a person like a dog it simplfys things but in reality we are all not dogs we may have basic needs but people are more or less evil. we all have the ability to hurt and to cheat but not everyone dose. i like to believe that everyone is good and that there are just points in our life were we make bad decisions.
but i agree that if your unhappy in your life the only one you can really look to is yourself. your the person who got you there and your the person who can get you to were you want to go but sometimes its just not that simple.

ash i love you! i wish i could help ya out more and shit. but gimme a call if you want to do something i have been board out of my mind now that i'm on the *clean* track blackeyed
Apr 29, 2008
gidgette:
it's 6am and I can't sleep... wtf... I think we all have a facade.. with our families.. coworkers.. lovers. kids.. party friends.. non party friends haha.. its like we are our own greatest actors in our movie of life right? okay ima try and sleep.. marijuana is a wonderous thing tongue
May 2, 2008

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