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ash

NY

SG Since 2003

Followers 2353 Following 1267

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Tuesday Feb 12, 2008

Feb 12, 2008
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Now that I've collected myself, I'll keep my little bitchfest in a spoilers section since it's LONG and boring. I just needed to vent, I'm fine now. For the few of u who actually had the patience to read it ... I (luckily!) fixed my tire. But now I have to fix my breaks and pay for a hefty unexpected vet bill for the cat, on top of all the other normal bills for the wk. AND, my mans boss has up & decided to NOT pay him weekly anymore. He will be getting paid MONTHLY now ... which means (yep) we have to make one wks worth of pay last a month. How? I have no idea! Any suggestions??? Wtf kind of boss does this kind of shit anyway? Bastard!




After the most hellacious day ever, I managed to crack a little smile here, despite the ultimately BITTER fucking cold us smokers have to deal with now that the smoking ban passed here.



Here's my new friend, tallboy! He really lives up to that name, believe me! He talked to me as if he'd known me for 17 yrs already, which was cool.



SPOILERS! (Click to view)
SO! Its bitchfest time. Let me ask u folks ... what are the odds of getting 2 flat tires in the same day? I'd assume it's pretty slim, no? Well as if getting *one* flat was bad enough, setting us back almost 2 fuckin hours, after we loaded ALL our gear into our seemingly tiny car, our spare tire goes FLAT!! Needless to say, we missed our sound check and the first 2 songs went kinda shittily (if thats not a word, it is NOW).

Ok, Monday comes. Time to get that tire fixed. OHHHH no!! Not a SINGLE person would come help me get this damn tire to the fix-a-flat joint. Nice, reliable, wonderful friends that I have. It's funny how u can treat all your friends like theyre family but whenever u need them, they suddenly look the other way. Well I finally asked my dad to help me, though he didnt get to me until after most the places closed. Finally, I found ONE place still open, and we took it up there. They said come back in 45 min, so I figured I'd go home ... jack the car up, take the doughnut off so that all we needed to do was slip the nice FIXED tire on and BOOM, ready to go. Right?? WRONG

I jack the car up ... then WHOOPS, it slams down. WTF?? FUCKING ICE!!! My car is on a motherfucking INCLINE in the driveway!!! It keeps sliding backwards everytime I jack it up!!! Jack it up, FALL, jack it up, FALL, RINSE, REPEAT. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW??! My dad looks at the car, he says "ash, that thing is BENT. You WONT be getting a tire on it." eeek

WHAT?!


WHAAAAAT!!!!???? WTF do u mean I CANT GET A TIRE ON IT???!

"I mean that the wheel is completely bent and will cost several hundred dollars to fix it"

eeek

HUH??!! Wait ... WHAT?? NO! This isnt happening!! If we dont have a car, we dont have any JOB, and if we dont have a job .. we cant pay our fucking bills! Fuck, there's nothing to eat here and we have a million things to pay for right now.

I look at my tiny wad of cash. Ones and 2 fives. I almost cried when the tire place told me it would cost me $30 to fix the flat ... now you're telling me that I cant even fix it with the tire????!! To make matters even worse, we went back to pickup the tire ... and guess what? Yeah you guessed it ... tire cant be fixed.

Now what? Now comes the embarassing part. I fucking lost it.

Thats right. I lost it! I lost my fucking mind!!! After stomping around, screaming at the top of my lungs, just wanting to SMASH everything in sight, I just collapsed into a pile of worthlessness. It CANT be bent. NO. It just CANT be. THIS WORLD ISNT THAT CRUEL!!

So here I sit, wondering if there is still hope. I've called everyone I know who can help, and there's no one left. I cant force myself to believe that I cant fix it with a new tire. My father said that there is MAYBE a *slight* chance of the wheel thingy not being bent too terribly, and that MAYBE if I get a new tire I can somehow block the back tires from further slipping and try to get the doughnut back on it just enough to roll the car down the driveway onto a flat surface, THEN I could possibly get a newer tire on it. And by some MIRACLE of GOD, MAYBE I can fix this problem with a $20 used tire.

Everyone says its a waste of time. That theres NO way in HELL the weight of the car can fall like that without damaging the wheel or axle or whatever the fuck holds the wheel straight. I REFUSE to believe the worst. I CANT! I cant I cant I cant I cant!! So now! Im sitting here wondering how Im gonna get my tire up to the closest tire place to have another one put on the rim ... then I can come back here and try to put something behind the wheels to keep it from falling again.

No questions today, Im on a rampage.

confused

APPARENTLY, today is valentines day. I say, BOYCOTT this lame ass holiday! No one tells me when, where, and how I should show appreciation for my mate! I dont *need* a specific holiday to buy him something or show him hes special, and vice versa. VD is just an excuse to get ppl to buy crap, same as sweetest day or whatever.


q's

~What are some of your pet peeves that involve other ppl?
~When was the last time u were embarassed by the ppl u hung out with?
~What is your "fantasy" mate like?
~Is it ok for the person you're dating to have small crushes on others?

VIEW 25 of 59 COMMENTS
squee_:
That was quite a vent.

They feel good sometimes don't they?

It's funny. I've been to Chicago many times and I've never really seen the city. I'm always stuck in the Loop the whole time. I'd love to see more of the city someday.

I actually only smoke a few cigarettes a month. And look pretty silly when I do it.

The cartoon Squee's a lot cuter than I am. shocked

What are some of your pet peeves that involve other ppl?

When they expect me to solve all their problems. I can't solve my own what makes them think I can solve their's?

~When was the last time u were embarassed by the ppl u hung out with?

I only get embarrassed by family. My mom embarrasses me when she gets drunk and hits on the pool guy..or the mailman or my friends..

My dad embarrasses me when he goes in to his macho Alpha male bullshit.

~What is your "fantasy" mate like?

Benni was probably as close to my fantasy as I've ever gotten. Not that we were ever more than friends. Just that in many ways she was my ideal woman. I sure as hell miss her.

~Is it ok for the person you're dating to have small crushes on others?

Yeah, I think it's healthy. Or at least relatively normal. I think trying to suppress those feelings is just asking for trouble.

Feb 21, 2008
heidi1313:
ash...do you live anywhere near downer's grove???
Feb 23, 2008

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