Hi, today I'm not feeling really well...actually I haven't felt totally happy since 15th of February... but anyway... I want to share something I wrote on the 3rd of march to the one I love...
1 month ago,
You looked inside my eyes, my dreams, and said something that I wasn't waiting for,
I smiled and the word YES flew away from my lips reaching your eyes full of unsaid answers ...
our lips turned two into one in just one moment and our bodies met our souls, joining them together, I won't say that was perfect...but was something unforgettable... desire and love? don't know, not sure...I just know my heart was beating too fast because he was there...because of the moment!
*he was the sweetest guy I ever met*
My heart never been so fast, my feelings never been so true and sincere like the blood that runs through my veins... yeah it is true, very emotive I must say, but what is love anyway?
Some people say that love does not exist, I say that it does, if you believe it...
it will make you smile,
it will make you feel lighter,
it will make you look and feel better,
it will make you believe that you are very especial...your eyes will shine, your heart will beat and your lips will force you to say things that you thought you would never say out loud...
Like I was saying, 1 month ago... I felt in love with someone...not cause that person was rich, not cause that person could be always next to me, not cause of that person could spend a hell lot of money on me, not cause that person could always text me or answer my calls... just cause I knew he was something special...
"he wasn't the man of my dreams, but the man of my reality!
that is the most important lesson to learn in life... I think..."
at first, he was afraid to say "I love you" he took a while to say it, but he did...
we spend a lot of nights looking, taking care...and falling asleep next to each other... one day he wrote me this card ...
"this isn't a poem to say "goodbye",
instead I hope it'll make you smile...
from the moment I saw the light in your eyes,
I knew everything would turn out fine.
you're so pretty, wild and kind,
it's hard to grasp the fact that you're mine.
every night slept next to you,
ensures me that dreams do come true."
does dreams do come true, when you love someone? at least will make you think they will...
My heart while reading that words thought I was for the first time protected and happy against a lot of things...like a protection wall...I was so happy...yes I was...
one day he told me that he was a bad boyfriend... I couldn't believe the words I was seeing... it's not everyday, you read that kind of things... just cause he couldn't give me what I needed, at least what he thought I needed... my heart was confused... my eyes became wet with tears...and I asked to myself, why?????
thought he knew that I liked him just the way he was, he was almost perfect for me...but something was wrong with him... he was feeling down, blue...something that was too stuck inside of his mind, of his heart, something that happened while ago... and I didn't knew that...
I thought, that 4 pints of Guinness and two glasses of wine (No food) would help me to calm down...but that just made me feel worse (alcohol is never an answer to our problems).
I just wanted to talk with him face to face... try to reach his heart, open it and find out what was wrong with him...I really wanted to know... at the same time I just wanted to tell him how much I liked him, how much he meant to me... but words were not enough... my mind were blocked and my body was shaking...too much, too much...
went to a place to meet some friends on the same night, just to forget that message for a while, but without notice, my heart started beating so fast, and I said to myself "omg is him... what do I do... do I run your go and talk with him?" my heart was so confused, my lips were sealed and my body was shaking...once more, was shaking a lot... I was nervous...
....
we talked, everything was fine... I was so happy to kiss him again, hug him..touch him...just looking at him... thought everything was fine... after we talked...but he was acting a bit weird so I asked him if we could talk once more, we did... was a really serious conversation, and a bit silly I must say... we were both confused and hurt... he was always repeating the same words over and over again... I knew that he had something more inside of his heart that was blocking him in that certain moment, I wanted to help him... "No one is meant to be alone...!"
I know he wanted my best, I know he is just a random guy with problems and all that things, but that is not making me loving less than I do now...
so I asked him..".do you like me? he said yes... ", so I said..."think, you have to think...you can't over everything like this...not like this...!"
After a few mins saying the same words, hearing the same words... he said...he was going to think...and he kissed me...I said "yeah, take your time, come and talk with me when you feel prepared for... i love you... promise me!!!" he said..."I do, I promise...!"
today, exactly one month ago...since we started our relationship... I felt like writing about this, about how I still feel, how my heart beats for him... how I will be always here if he needs me...
I know I'm sure if he allows me to still be part of his life, everything will turn out fine... he just needs to talk with me about all his problems...and we will resolve them together... that will make our relationship stronger and stronger...
I remember him saying... "I will stay with you till you get bored of me...!"
I still remember... I do remember...
once someone told me "sometimes things make more sense when you can read them in front of you"
(this may be the silliest thing I ever wrote...but I mean all of that... )
______________________________________________________
Today I found that he changed his status to single on myspace...(I actually don't care about what that say there...but he needs to talk with me... I'm still waiting for that...
oh well... )
how have you been so far? hope better than me... xxx
1 month ago,
You looked inside my eyes, my dreams, and said something that I wasn't waiting for,
I smiled and the word YES flew away from my lips reaching your eyes full of unsaid answers ...
our lips turned two into one in just one moment and our bodies met our souls, joining them together, I won't say that was perfect...but was something unforgettable... desire and love? don't know, not sure...I just know my heart was beating too fast because he was there...because of the moment!
*he was the sweetest guy I ever met*
My heart never been so fast, my feelings never been so true and sincere like the blood that runs through my veins... yeah it is true, very emotive I must say, but what is love anyway?
Some people say that love does not exist, I say that it does, if you believe it...
it will make you smile,
it will make you feel lighter,
it will make you look and feel better,
it will make you believe that you are very especial...your eyes will shine, your heart will beat and your lips will force you to say things that you thought you would never say out loud...
Like I was saying, 1 month ago... I felt in love with someone...not cause that person was rich, not cause that person could be always next to me, not cause of that person could spend a hell lot of money on me, not cause that person could always text me or answer my calls... just cause I knew he was something special...
"he wasn't the man of my dreams, but the man of my reality!
that is the most important lesson to learn in life... I think..."
at first, he was afraid to say "I love you" he took a while to say it, but he did...
we spend a lot of nights looking, taking care...and falling asleep next to each other... one day he wrote me this card ...
"this isn't a poem to say "goodbye",
instead I hope it'll make you smile...
from the moment I saw the light in your eyes,
I knew everything would turn out fine.
you're so pretty, wild and kind,
it's hard to grasp the fact that you're mine.
every night slept next to you,
ensures me that dreams do come true."
does dreams do come true, when you love someone? at least will make you think they will...
My heart while reading that words thought I was for the first time protected and happy against a lot of things...like a protection wall...I was so happy...yes I was...
one day he told me that he was a bad boyfriend... I couldn't believe the words I was seeing... it's not everyday, you read that kind of things... just cause he couldn't give me what I needed, at least what he thought I needed... my heart was confused... my eyes became wet with tears...and I asked to myself, why?????
thought he knew that I liked him just the way he was, he was almost perfect for me...but something was wrong with him... he was feeling down, blue...something that was too stuck inside of his mind, of his heart, something that happened while ago... and I didn't knew that...
I thought, that 4 pints of Guinness and two glasses of wine (No food) would help me to calm down...but that just made me feel worse (alcohol is never an answer to our problems).
I just wanted to talk with him face to face... try to reach his heart, open it and find out what was wrong with him...I really wanted to know... at the same time I just wanted to tell him how much I liked him, how much he meant to me... but words were not enough... my mind were blocked and my body was shaking...too much, too much...
went to a place to meet some friends on the same night, just to forget that message for a while, but without notice, my heart started beating so fast, and I said to myself "omg is him... what do I do... do I run your go and talk with him?" my heart was so confused, my lips were sealed and my body was shaking...once more, was shaking a lot... I was nervous...
....
we talked, everything was fine... I was so happy to kiss him again, hug him..touch him...just looking at him... thought everything was fine... after we talked...but he was acting a bit weird so I asked him if we could talk once more, we did... was a really serious conversation, and a bit silly I must say... we were both confused and hurt... he was always repeating the same words over and over again... I knew that he had something more inside of his heart that was blocking him in that certain moment, I wanted to help him... "No one is meant to be alone...!"
I know he wanted my best, I know he is just a random guy with problems and all that things, but that is not making me loving less than I do now...
so I asked him..".do you like me? he said yes... ", so I said..."think, you have to think...you can't over everything like this...not like this...!"
After a few mins saying the same words, hearing the same words... he said...he was going to think...and he kissed me...I said "yeah, take your time, come and talk with me when you feel prepared for... i love you... promise me!!!" he said..."I do, I promise...!"
today, exactly one month ago...since we started our relationship... I felt like writing about this, about how I still feel, how my heart beats for him... how I will be always here if he needs me...
I know I'm sure if he allows me to still be part of his life, everything will turn out fine... he just needs to talk with me about all his problems...and we will resolve them together... that will make our relationship stronger and stronger...
I remember him saying... "I will stay with you till you get bored of me...!"
I still remember... I do remember...
once someone told me "sometimes things make more sense when you can read them in front of you"
(this may be the silliest thing I ever wrote...but I mean all of that... )
______________________________________________________
Today I found that he changed his status to single on myspace...(I actually don't care about what that say there...but he needs to talk with me... I'm still waiting for that...
oh well... )
how have you been so far? hope better than me... xxx