artslut

Okay, you obviously care for her a lot. Now its only been two weeks and she is with someone new and that is probably a whole rebound thing. See, most women and I am guilty of this in the past need a vice to replace vice before moving from one to the other so he was already established or she was thinking of him before she jumped ship. That doesn't mean every chick has to have a guy to dump a guy, it just means that every woman out there has things set up in her head and has a "nest" all planned before she jumps so trust me it has been more than just two weeks for her. Now I know that is going to sting like a son of a bitch but it is 99.9% the truth. The good of it is that she is that much closer to the finish line with him. She isn't going to keep him and it isn't going to last. She is likely using him to hurt you, fill a need for herself temporarily, or waiting for the next step in her mind. She might not realize it yet even. Now, the steps you need to do is to define for yourself what your love is. I am a person who believes that if you truly l-o-v-e someone that you can't turn it on or off it is something that stays with you forever. That is if it is really love. I am sure you know your heart. Your soul being torn apart, your agony of the past, your acknowledgement of things gone wrong, your desire for her happiness... all point to things I would view as love. The sting of her with the other guy, maybe love and pride. The next thing you need to do is to define for yourself if you want to put that love into the closet and learn to love her from a distance and love a memory, in other words; move on and survive or if you want to work for her. If it is the latter of the two, then you need to seriously make her listen to you. She needs to pull her head out of her ass, hear that you love her, hear that you acknowledge mistakes, hear that you want to make an action plan to work things out and she needs to make the same changes in her life for you if she loves you. If she is willing then do it, if not then you need to live with loving a memory and get someone who you can be open, honest and loving with. Learn from your mistakes and be strong. You deserve better. She deserves better. You both need to learn that and expect that. I hope this helps you. I have been thru this and at least 3 times a week I have to take a big spoonful of my own medicine and shit and it works for the most part. Remember it takes 2. Don't let her rule you.

BTW thanks for your advice too. I saw dear ole dad and set out an action plan for him. We'll see what he has in store for me or himself. I am just taking baby steps.

Big hug out to you.

I know the feeling. The whole cold eerie feeling eating up everything and making you second guess if what you are or your ideas are real. Just trying to make it. Believe me, I am the Queen of mindless dribble, the more I feel I don't belong the more I turn into a chameleon: all smiles, stupid talking about shit I don't care about, worry over who thinks what, am I dressed right, and is everyone happy, can anyone see what is really going on in my head? Everyday I have a battle with my innerself and who I portray to the world. I am so many things to so many people and I know that a heck of a lot of people out there in the world will never know me--- that is me in my mind... its okay, that is what makes each of us special I guess. Just make sure you leave some windows open so some important people who really matter to you can see in and you probably will be okay. And by the way, thanks for the sorry.

Hey there, I am on usually around 6-8ish our time. I hate TV and the noise of my house around those hours. Let me know what works for you. I am home in the morinings sometimes too. Depends on what is on my itenary. I have dumb Dr. appts but other than that I am usually home. I zone a lot on the couch or with my dogs or by the pool, just reading or writing or thinking or sleeping... pretty boring huh?

that doesn't sound good. what's up?

found on road dead.

update your goddamn journal, biotch!!

i think women very well may intimidate you. AND you judge too quickly

keep an open mind sweetie.

since you wont talk to i'm going to tell you here: i'm going to go to bartending school, then tend bar, for a while probably...an easy job, w/ good pay and my kind of hours so that i will be otherwise free to do my art... i'd really like to see you, and plus i need to get my bike back...so we really need to talk either way...

Hello

i love being giddy. i'm glad that things are going well for you sweetie.

i see you haven't been around much lately... i hope everything is still goin' arright.

-bobby