well, lets see... what has happened to me in the past week or so.
I got laid, twice. The first person actually got my mind of danielle, well it was this girl and a shit load of alcohol. I forgot about her for about lets say a total of five hours(her as in my ex), give or take a few. The second time it was...
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I got laid, twice. The first person actually got my mind of danielle, well it was this girl and a shit load of alcohol. I forgot about her for about lets say a total of five hours(her as in my ex), give or take a few. The second time it was...
Read More
I had an incredible night.
and I have the rug burns to prove it
hehe
and I have the rug burns to prove it
hehe
fedora_:
Nice... btw I didn't see u know who.
Last night was pretty good considering I have been crying and drinking myself to sleep everynight for the past week.
I trained at my new job and starting to discover that this is going to be a really good change. I hung out with danielle and she corrupted me, big time.
I swore to myself that I would never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever...
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I trained at my new job and starting to discover that this is going to be a really good change. I hung out with danielle and she corrupted me, big time.
I swore to myself that I would never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
withsobereyes:
80s party in Phoenix tomorrow....
UPCOMING EVENT: 80's partay.
WHEN: Saturday Aug 28 @ 7:30 pm
WHERE: Mi casa.
Im throwing a little 80's shindig at my house at the end of this month, and you all are invited.
Please dress up. We wont turn you away if you dont, but its more fun if yah do.
We'll have kegs, a pool table, 80's musak all night long, 80's flicks on the tube, etc.
Driving drunk sucks, so anyone who needs a place to crash for the night is more than welcome to stay.
Contact me if you need more information.
WATCHED BY: Fedona, Fucking_Hostile, rosey, sailormae, temperachel, WithSoberEyes, _Minx
My nickname is Oggie. If you stop by, ask any partygoer there to find me for you and ill direct you to other SG members.
5338 West Wolf Street,
Phoenix, Arizona 85031
UPCOMING EVENT: 80's partay.
WHEN: Saturday Aug 28 @ 7:30 pm
WHERE: Mi casa.
Im throwing a little 80's shindig at my house at the end of this month, and you all are invited.
Please dress up. We wont turn you away if you dont, but its more fun if yah do.
We'll have kegs, a pool table, 80's musak all night long, 80's flicks on the tube, etc.
Driving drunk sucks, so anyone who needs a place to crash for the night is more than welcome to stay.
Contact me if you need more information.
WATCHED BY: Fedona, Fucking_Hostile, rosey, sailormae, temperachel, WithSoberEyes, _Minx
My nickname is Oggie. If you stop by, ask any partygoer there to find me for you and ill direct you to other SG members.
5338 West Wolf Street,
Phoenix, Arizona 85031
fedora_:
1: Start out going South on S UDALL toward E 6TH DR. <0.1 miles Map
2: S UDALL becomes E 6TH DR. 0.1 miles Map
3: Turn RIGHT onto S PIONEER. 0.1 miles Map
4: Turn RIGHT onto E FRANKLIN AVE. 0.1 miles Map
5: Turn LEFT onto S MESA DR. 1.0 miles Map
6: Merge onto US-60 W toward PHOENIX. 7.5 miles Map
7: Take I-10 HOV LN W toward PHOENIX. 1.5 miles Map
8: Merge onto I-10 W/US-60 W. 4.5 miles Map
9: Merge onto I-17 N via exit number 150A toward FLAGSTAFF. 7.7 miles Map
10: Take the exit- exit number 201- toward US-60/THOMAS RD/GRAND AVE. 0.1 miles Map
11: Stay straight to go onto N BLACK CANYON HWY. 0.1 miles Map
12: Turn LEFT onto W THOMAS RD. 0.2 miles Map
13: Turn RIGHT onto N 27TH AVE. 0.2 miles Map
14: Merge onto W GRAND AVE/US-60 W via the ramp- on the left. 2.7 miles Map
15: Turn SLIGHT LEFT onto W CAMELBACK RD. 1.2 miles Map
16: Turn LEFT onto N 53RD AVE. 0.1 miles Map
17: Turn RIGHT onto W WOLF ST. <0.1 miles Map
18: End at 5338 W Wolf St Phoenix AZ Map
Total Est. Time: 37 minutes Total Est. Distance: 27.87 miles
2: S UDALL becomes E 6TH DR. 0.1 miles Map
3: Turn RIGHT onto S PIONEER. 0.1 miles Map
4: Turn RIGHT onto E FRANKLIN AVE. 0.1 miles Map
5: Turn LEFT onto S MESA DR. 1.0 miles Map
6: Merge onto US-60 W toward PHOENIX. 7.5 miles Map
7: Take I-10 HOV LN W toward PHOENIX. 1.5 miles Map
8: Merge onto I-10 W/US-60 W. 4.5 miles Map
9: Merge onto I-17 N via exit number 150A toward FLAGSTAFF. 7.7 miles Map
10: Take the exit- exit number 201- toward US-60/THOMAS RD/GRAND AVE. 0.1 miles Map
11: Stay straight to go onto N BLACK CANYON HWY. 0.1 miles Map
12: Turn LEFT onto W THOMAS RD. 0.2 miles Map
13: Turn RIGHT onto N 27TH AVE. 0.2 miles Map
14: Merge onto W GRAND AVE/US-60 W via the ramp- on the left. 2.7 miles Map
15: Turn SLIGHT LEFT onto W CAMELBACK RD. 1.2 miles Map
16: Turn LEFT onto N 53RD AVE. 0.1 miles Map
17: Turn RIGHT onto W WOLF ST. <0.1 miles Map
18: End at 5338 W Wolf St Phoenix AZ Map
Total Est. Time: 37 minutes Total Est. Distance: 27.87 miles
getting over danielle is so much harder than what I thought it would be. I just got up from bed about ten minutes ago and it wasn't my intention, she's on my mind. Not seeing her or talking to her for the past two days has been nothing but torture. The only way to get somewhat of a good nights rest is drinking myself to...
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fedora_:
Hey there. I really appreciated your thoughts on life and just being able to talk, and I really think you are going to make it in the world either w/ Danielle as your soulmate or as really good well-weathered friends who have shared a lot. I think it is really cool you are going to be working on your art again and focusing on what makes you happy. I copied the link down for you so you can look into adopting a child also. This link has info not only on children to adopt, but all the different issues tied to adopting, the process you must go thru and Q & As you might have. Here it is:
http://www.adoptuskids.org
Anyone can register as a member, even if your dream of adopting isn't until 10 years from now. So take a look.
It was really cool to talk with you and I look forward to times in the future where we can talk again. Take care until the next time and don't be too hard on yourself. -F
http://www.adoptuskids.org
Anyone can register as a member, even if your dream of adopting isn't until 10 years from now. So take a look.
It was really cool to talk with you and I look forward to times in the future where we can talk again. Take care until the next time and don't be too hard on yourself. -F
fedora_:
Yeah I'd be up for a drink. Coffee or just a ice cold brew; either or. I might be going to the 80s party SGAZ is having, if you want to go to that with me, not sure what plans might be up this weekend. But a drink definitely sounds good.
I'm beggining to think that i have died and am being born again.
My car is back and working really well.
I just got back from my grandmas house and it seems like she is happy.
and I did something that I never thought I would have done.
in the past mmm lets say about three weeks I havent been sleeping, eating, and I have...
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My car is back and working really well.
I just got back from my grandmas house and it seems like she is happy.
and I did something that I never thought I would have done.
in the past mmm lets say about three weeks I havent been sleeping, eating, and I have...
Read More
fedora_:
Good! I am happy that you have made a point of decision! I like positive upbeat you much better! Not that I didn't like the other side, but the upside you is really good to hear. 
i never realized how bad this would hit me. I try to snap out of this depression, but all i can think is that i need her with me.
I cry every fuckin day. Im sick of this.
I know she needs time and she's going to get it, but it kills me to think she might not come back to me.
I spent almost...
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I cry every fuckin day. Im sick of this.
I know she needs time and she's going to get it, but it kills me to think she might not come back to me.
I spent almost...
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"and everytime you crave for me
Im here
anything you hunger for
I'll share
and I'll be quietly
standing by
while slowly Im dieing
inside
Hold me in your arms
and let me be the one
who can feel
like I'm a child
in love
Everytime I talk to you
your down
and everytime you need a laugh
I'm around
and when you forget Im...
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Im here
anything you hunger for
I'll share
and I'll be quietly
standing by
while slowly Im dieing
inside
Hold me in your arms
and let me be the one
who can feel
like I'm a child
in love
Everytime I talk to you
your down
and everytime you need a laugh
I'm around
and when you forget Im...
Read More
"i feel like im a made out of egg shells and i feel like im going to crack"
fedora_:
Just take it easy. Rest up. Maybe a mini vacation or getting out of the house would help?
My grandma may have lung cancer.
when it rains, it pours....
currently listening to "The Rain Song" by Led Zepplin
when it rains, it pours....
currently listening to "The Rain Song" by Led Zepplin
fedora_:
May is a variable word. Cancer is fightable now too. Think positive. If you like Zepplin listen to a song that always makes me happy along the same genre... Lynryd Skynryd Free Bird... I always listen to that to just let my mind free. That song has a lot of meanings for me but it is a great song to just soar to.
"I'm a fuckin asshole"
and a fuckin retard, i'll tell you why if you're inclined to know.
I have been doin some soul searchin and I've realized the way i have been runnin MY LIFE is abosolutley THE WRONG WAY. Danielle, my beautiful ex who means everything to me told me a quote by neitche( i think thats how you spell it) and she told...
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and a fuckin retard, i'll tell you why if you're inclined to know.
I have been doin some soul searchin and I've realized the way i have been runnin MY LIFE is abosolutley THE WRONG WAY. Danielle, my beautiful ex who means everything to me told me a quote by neitche( i think thats how you spell it) and she told...
Read More
fedora_:
Aquarius, when you sent a hug my way at 2 am, it was you who needed a hug. I am now sitting here in my chair thinking to myself how awful you must be now and then when you wrote this. Please tell me you take a break from beating yourself up. God, I hear the spiral you are in and I just don't know if I can say anything to brighten it. There isn't much to really say. I went on short term disability back in May for a lot of reasons, one being health, another severe horrible depression. I have always been a driven strong person. I have always been the Omega of all. I was the rock, the wall, the unbeatable force, my nickname professionally in the business world is The Tractor. I am nothing but a bundle of tears half the time, I am a frail piece of nothing, I turn to a blank piece of paper, nothing, no resolution, no force, no will, agony, hate, bitterness, loss, 100s of emotions. When you set an idea of who it is you want to be, what is others want you to be, what it is you must be, and what you are, it is exetremely hard to cope. You must be able to live with yourself, be yourself, know who you are. There was a point when I didn't know who I was. There are still borders in my mind that I am unsure of. For years since I was young I have built upon hurt, demands, and survival to define myself. I too, require the people around me to conform in certain ways. I believe my true family is not always that of blood relation but whom bleeds with me. I don't expect everyone to live at the standard I have held myself to, I have expected everyone who mattered to me to believe in me however. That is one of the things that shot me down. I am not intimate in the knowledge of your relationship with Danielle, but I think I know that your intentions were good and born of security. Sometimes, in fact, the majority of the time, I find that even the people I hold closest to me, like my husband do not understand my code of life. What you have done, may have hurt her and it may be permanent, but I wonder if she understands the intention of it. The fact that you understand that it is destructive should show her that you are willing to change. You may not be able to change what you hold yourself to, but you can change what you do to others. I am learning to communicate with my family and accept that I can't make them take my advice, make them listen always, make them be strong, make them understand me, that I must take them as they are and support them. That I must believe in them. I must accept that I must keep some of myself to myself. I can change behavoirs over time, there are times I mess up but trial and error and patience over time has shown that I can make improvement. I think you can change your attitude towards Danielle if she can just give you the chance and teach you to do it.
For an example, my husband and I had a list of things we wanted to work at on each other. I will focus on what he wanted me to change... He doesn't like me kissing him a lot, grabbing his butt, or being just overly affectionate in public in general. This was in the beginning of our relationship and while for my age group and what I consider myself prudish it was wild and outragish for his taste and age group I guess. So I worked on it. I was hurt and devastated over the whole issue, but I tried to understand his views. I would sometimes get excited or lax or we would party and I would get drunk and get a little wild, but eventually I learned to just kiss him briefly on the cheek or hold his hand or arm and he is very happy now when we are in public. Not that I particularly like it, but that is a relationship and that is love-- making things work.
So ultimately, I want to hope Danielle can know that she should come back to you. You love her. She and you have been together for a long time, to just give up now when you are making progress and hearing what she says. Tell her this. Hell, make her read your journal entries. I hope she has the heart and courage and faith in you. I don't know why I feel it over a computer screen but for some reason I feel it in you even though I have never seen or met you or talked verbally to you, I know you have something she should be taking a look at. Hugging you spiritually and hoping you are holding on. Fedona
For an example, my husband and I had a list of things we wanted to work at on each other. I will focus on what he wanted me to change... He doesn't like me kissing him a lot, grabbing his butt, or being just overly affectionate in public in general. This was in the beginning of our relationship and while for my age group and what I consider myself prudish it was wild and outragish for his taste and age group I guess. So I worked on it. I was hurt and devastated over the whole issue, but I tried to understand his views. I would sometimes get excited or lax or we would party and I would get drunk and get a little wild, but eventually I learned to just kiss him briefly on the cheek or hold his hand or arm and he is very happy now when we are in public. Not that I particularly like it, but that is a relationship and that is love-- making things work.
So ultimately, I want to hope Danielle can know that she should come back to you. You love her. She and you have been together for a long time, to just give up now when you are making progress and hearing what she says. Tell her this. Hell, make her read your journal entries. I hope she has the heart and courage and faith in you. I don't know why I feel it over a computer screen but for some reason I feel it in you even though I have never seen or met you or talked verbally to you, I know you have something she should be taking a look at. Hugging you spiritually and hoping you are holding on. Fedona
1. It is usually permanent. If, like in my case, its not...
2. It sucks and hurts like hell to be brought back to life...
3. Not me, but other people have been seriously fucked up for the rest of their lives physically or mentally from near death, death or circumstances surrounding the incident leading to death or surviving death...
so even though you said you aren't planning to, think about what you say and really make sure what you think about because you might bring undue energy around yourself that you just don't need in your life. Kinda like provoking a Murphy Law thing or jinxing shit. So knock on wood.