beware, a depressing rant about to commence.
everything was goin great here in cali until i have found out that my father is pretty much psychotic and it saddens me. right now i feel like i hate the man for the words he chose to describe me. we got into a huge fight last night on the phone as well as this morning. I have never seen this side from my father. I dont know where he gets this from, my grandfather wasnt this way. he was on of the most gentle people i have ever known. it really depresses the hell out of me that he let me down. i have always looked up to him and now i dont even want to see him. I dont know what I did to deserve this. he has been married about three times and Im coming to the conclusion that he will be forever alone. i know this may sound cruel, but you have no idea what he is capable of doing. here's some background information. I have never lived with my father and I only saw him maybe once or twice a year. everytime i came to visit he would always have problems with his wife at the time. surpisingly, im his only kid. I thought that me coming down to live with him would give me a chance to really get to know my father and now i feel ashamed to be his son. i hope to god that i never end up like him nor my mother. well theres certain aspects in my mom that i admire, but both of them..... why cant i ever live in peace. it seems like i do better when i dont have to depend on them. i was balling this morning when i called my grandmother. i was planning to go back to az and asked her if i could stay there for couple of weeks until i get myself settled. she always has come through for me. she is the only person in my family that always come through for me as well i will do for her. she is my hero. the only person that i strive to be. she always has an open ear and open arms for me. my dads current wife kicked him and is going to get a restraining order on him as well as a divorce. im staying with her right now and she told me that i could stay here to get my shit done. before she gave the opportunity to live here i was planning on stayin at a shelter, that wouldve be an adventure.shes the best.
other than that eventful night and morning I have been drawing a lot and letting out some negative energy into my drawings. damn, i need to get my comp hooked up because I want to post some pictures. in the past week and a half i have gotten digits from four different girls and all very attractive. i bailed out on a date the one of them tonight because im not in the right mental state. though i may have an other date from this other girl either tommorow or friday night. she works at the same mall that i do and i have been eyen her since i started working there and i finally got the courage to ask for her number. i was supposed to call her last night but i was screaming my head off and before i knew it, it was one in the morning. i saw her today and apologized and told her that i would call her tonight.
sayonara
sorry i havent been the greatest sg friend because i dont like hogging the comp. as soon as i get my computer hooked up ill keep up on your journals.
update: i think i may already be in love.
everything was goin great here in cali until i have found out that my father is pretty much psychotic and it saddens me. right now i feel like i hate the man for the words he chose to describe me. we got into a huge fight last night on the phone as well as this morning. I have never seen this side from my father. I dont know where he gets this from, my grandfather wasnt this way. he was on of the most gentle people i have ever known. it really depresses the hell out of me that he let me down. i have always looked up to him and now i dont even want to see him. I dont know what I did to deserve this. he has been married about three times and Im coming to the conclusion that he will be forever alone. i know this may sound cruel, but you have no idea what he is capable of doing. here's some background information. I have never lived with my father and I only saw him maybe once or twice a year. everytime i came to visit he would always have problems with his wife at the time. surpisingly, im his only kid. I thought that me coming down to live with him would give me a chance to really get to know my father and now i feel ashamed to be his son. i hope to god that i never end up like him nor my mother. well theres certain aspects in my mom that i admire, but both of them..... why cant i ever live in peace. it seems like i do better when i dont have to depend on them. i was balling this morning when i called my grandmother. i was planning to go back to az and asked her if i could stay there for couple of weeks until i get myself settled. she always has come through for me. she is the only person in my family that always come through for me as well i will do for her. she is my hero. the only person that i strive to be. she always has an open ear and open arms for me. my dads current wife kicked him and is going to get a restraining order on him as well as a divorce. im staying with her right now and she told me that i could stay here to get my shit done. before she gave the opportunity to live here i was planning on stayin at a shelter, that wouldve be an adventure.shes the best.
other than that eventful night and morning I have been drawing a lot and letting out some negative energy into my drawings. damn, i need to get my comp hooked up because I want to post some pictures. in the past week and a half i have gotten digits from four different girls and all very attractive. i bailed out on a date the one of them tonight because im not in the right mental state. though i may have an other date from this other girl either tommorow or friday night. she works at the same mall that i do and i have been eyen her since i started working there and i finally got the courage to ask for her number. i was supposed to call her last night but i was screaming my head off and before i knew it, it was one in the morning. i saw her today and apologized and told her that i would call her tonight.
sayonara
sorry i havent been the greatest sg friend because i dont like hogging the comp. as soon as i get my computer hooked up ill keep up on your journals.
update: i think i may already be in love.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Mary-Kate is the funkier one and is more likely to wear pants and styles her hair curled with it dyed brown.
Also, I can tell.
I hope you got a chance to check out LA at least, and bump into some of the local SG's =)
Has it been raining like a bitch up there? San Diego got 2 feet of rain already this season.
anyways, take it easy.