I got a laugh tonight watching this idiot at the gym, doing stairs and looking like a complete tool... where does this fat bastard get off making like he can get in shape? One of the saddest things I've ever seen in my life. Sweat was pouring off his face like he'd just run a freaking marathon, his chest jiggling flabbily like a very saggy old woman.
Of course, I'm talking about seeing myself in the mirror.
So you see, I have some motivation - when I see that, all I can think is, how the hell did I get like this?
I mean, until I was 24, I was scrawny... I had a strong, lean muscular physique, and I weighed a good 50 pounds more than I looked, based on how solid I was, and I was in far better shape than anyone would have ever believed looking at me.
Then I went straight to hell, gained 80 pounds, and got married.
When my marriage started falling apart, I starting going out to bars and dancing - trying to keep up with the raver kids to industrial music, going hard for 4-5 hours at a time. I dropped back down to 190 pounds... 40 pounds went in one night of hardcore dancing, and while everyone seemed to think it was just water loss, it stayed off for 2-3 years... then, about 3 years ago, I started packing it back on again, getting back up to 240 pounds. I tried going to the gym, walking more, rollerblading - but the motivation wasn't there at all. For the last 2 years I've stayed steady in weight, but slowly my fitness level has been dropping, and instead of being overweight and in alright shape, I'm just overweight.
So last Wednesday, I finally said enough. I rejoined the gym, and I'm on a 4 day a week program... and when I see that flabby bastard bouncing around the stairs, it gives me drive to make him look worse than he feels - but not by doing anything other than making him look better, and feel healthier.
I can tell you, he aches all over, and he hates it, but I like the fact that I'm making this flabby bastard feel that way, because it means, at some point soon, I can be happy in my own skin, and feel healthier and more confident in myself.
I'll probably never be rock solid and cut out of stone... but at least I won't be uncomfortable in my own body anymore...
and that's what it comes down to - if you're comfortable in your own body... if it'll take you the places you want to go, without discomfort... then that's what matters.
You only ever have one skin - make sure it fits you, because it makes a difference in how you feel... how others see you doesn't even begin to matter, but how you feel about yourself is important.
And I want to feel better about myself, so I'm going to - I miss me.
Of course, I'm talking about seeing myself in the mirror.
So you see, I have some motivation - when I see that, all I can think is, how the hell did I get like this?
I mean, until I was 24, I was scrawny... I had a strong, lean muscular physique, and I weighed a good 50 pounds more than I looked, based on how solid I was, and I was in far better shape than anyone would have ever believed looking at me.
Then I went straight to hell, gained 80 pounds, and got married.
When my marriage started falling apart, I starting going out to bars and dancing - trying to keep up with the raver kids to industrial music, going hard for 4-5 hours at a time. I dropped back down to 190 pounds... 40 pounds went in one night of hardcore dancing, and while everyone seemed to think it was just water loss, it stayed off for 2-3 years... then, about 3 years ago, I started packing it back on again, getting back up to 240 pounds. I tried going to the gym, walking more, rollerblading - but the motivation wasn't there at all. For the last 2 years I've stayed steady in weight, but slowly my fitness level has been dropping, and instead of being overweight and in alright shape, I'm just overweight.
So last Wednesday, I finally said enough. I rejoined the gym, and I'm on a 4 day a week program... and when I see that flabby bastard bouncing around the stairs, it gives me drive to make him look worse than he feels - but not by doing anything other than making him look better, and feel healthier.
I can tell you, he aches all over, and he hates it, but I like the fact that I'm making this flabby bastard feel that way, because it means, at some point soon, I can be happy in my own skin, and feel healthier and more confident in myself.
I'll probably never be rock solid and cut out of stone... but at least I won't be uncomfortable in my own body anymore...
and that's what it comes down to - if you're comfortable in your own body... if it'll take you the places you want to go, without discomfort... then that's what matters.
You only ever have one skin - make sure it fits you, because it makes a difference in how you feel... how others see you doesn't even begin to matter, but how you feel about yourself is important.
And I want to feel better about myself, so I'm going to - I miss me.