articca

It's raining like insanity. I love it. It helps me to sleep which I have not been able to do because the sister situation has been causing many sleepless night lately. I look like shit for it because it's killing me inside and out but only sometimes. Nothing I can do, nothing I will ever be able to do, I'll wonder and wonder but that's all that can be done and it doesn't help. Other then all that I'm doing good. I have to go to sleep soon cause I have to work tomorrow and I've been sick lately. Only if I could sleep. Fucked up situation.
The doctor gave me anti depressants when I told her what kind of stress was going on in my life. I'm against medication like that for reasons such as this because who the hell wouldn't be depressed in a situation like this? It's natural to feel like shit when shit happens. It just sucks and medication isn't going to make it better, just lots and lots of time passing by perhaps. I'm sure I'll learn something very valuable from all this which is better than not learning anything at all. I'm invited to go to this party tomorrow from a guy but I don't really know him. I don't know if I'll go. It's a costume party and it sounds like a good ass time but I just don't know. 1 month and not one alcoholic drink. Not 1. It's a nice change but it's been unusally calm lately. Different. May go out Sunday night, it's been so long it seems, longer than a month.
I want to see some shows and have a good time and not worry about this other crap or even talk about it even. Just good music around good people at a good place with a good Pabst, good times, much better times. We'll see.....
mmmmmmmmmm......Pabst