music: Prima Donnas, Texas Terri, and other stuff
Went by my husband's lastnight and tried to keep it cool. We were hanging out and drinking, he was acting too damn cool as if he hadn't a care in the world. He ranted on about how incredibly hot he is and how everyone wants him. This got to me only because he was being so careless, not because of his ego. Damn it. He's gone mad. I tried to stay calm and think I did pretty well. In most fucked up situations I tend to not freak out. I subtly let him know I know he slept with my sister, he laughed and denied it and wanted to fuck around. Lost it a little more. Subtly let out I knew he got her pregnant when around the time I had a miscarriage with his child. All hell broke loose from there. He told ME to never speak to HIM again and went completely balistic on me. I was stuck there and spent the night and we didn't talk to eachother for the rest of the night. I can't believe I spent all week with him before finding this out and we were actually getting along too 'fucking' well. Today I left my favorite shirt there when I left the palce he's staying and walked out after another fight between us. He dropped me off downtown and as soon as I got out of his jeep it poured like you wouldn't believe so I was soaked. There was something actually relieving about the rain but of course it couldn't last forever.
Fuck! I am far from okay over all this. I don't know how the hell to cope and that's fucking with me cause I've always been able to find or think of a way to do so but now there is a deep void, it's gone too far: this void. I feel like this is not reality at all. Damn, I wish it weren't!
Maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all and let on I didn't know as planned. I just couldn't handle it though. I had known for about 16 hours before I broke down and said something. I can't believe the one fucking person I loved more than anything, the one I married, fucked my sister and got her preganant while I had been pregnant with his child and they both knew about it. Damn, if anyone has any good advice, say so. I don't know what the fuck to think. She's keeping it. I don't see how the hell I'll ever beable to be in the same house as her or even within vicinity of her in the future. She's already showing. I feel dead already. As for advice, Jerry Springer already has been recommended but I think it's gone beyond white trash now. My mom recommended anti depressants but is it really better to trade natural sarrow for false, fake happiness? Devestation blows! I konw I'm being a whiney bitch but this is fucked up. Maybe my sister has gone crazy from all the pharmeseutical studies she does that she gets paid for.
ASHER! S.A.P.
Went by my husband's lastnight and tried to keep it cool. We were hanging out and drinking, he was acting too damn cool as if he hadn't a care in the world. He ranted on about how incredibly hot he is and how everyone wants him. This got to me only because he was being so careless, not because of his ego. Damn it. He's gone mad. I tried to stay calm and think I did pretty well. In most fucked up situations I tend to not freak out. I subtly let him know I know he slept with my sister, he laughed and denied it and wanted to fuck around. Lost it a little more. Subtly let out I knew he got her pregnant when around the time I had a miscarriage with his child. All hell broke loose from there. He told ME to never speak to HIM again and went completely balistic on me. I was stuck there and spent the night and we didn't talk to eachother for the rest of the night. I can't believe I spent all week with him before finding this out and we were actually getting along too 'fucking' well. Today I left my favorite shirt there when I left the palce he's staying and walked out after another fight between us. He dropped me off downtown and as soon as I got out of his jeep it poured like you wouldn't believe so I was soaked. There was something actually relieving about the rain but of course it couldn't last forever.
Fuck! I am far from okay over all this. I don't know how the hell to cope and that's fucking with me cause I've always been able to find or think of a way to do so but now there is a deep void, it's gone too far: this void. I feel like this is not reality at all. Damn, I wish it weren't!
Maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all and let on I didn't know as planned. I just couldn't handle it though. I had known for about 16 hours before I broke down and said something. I can't believe the one fucking person I loved more than anything, the one I married, fucked my sister and got her preganant while I had been pregnant with his child and they both knew about it. Damn, if anyone has any good advice, say so. I don't know what the fuck to think. She's keeping it. I don't see how the hell I'll ever beable to be in the same house as her or even within vicinity of her in the future. She's already showing. I feel dead already. As for advice, Jerry Springer already has been recommended but I think it's gone beyond white trash now. My mom recommended anti depressants but is it really better to trade natural sarrow for false, fake happiness? Devestation blows! I konw I'm being a whiney bitch but this is fucked up. Maybe my sister has gone crazy from all the pharmeseutical studies she does that she gets paid for.
ASHER! S.A.P.VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
My advice: get the fuck out of there. come out to l.a. for a week or 2, do SOMETHING but get the hell out of that situation which is so beyond whacked i don't even think i can find a word for it.