arson_____

My roommate is in jail...and this place has never felt so sane. She'll be there for at least 20 days...so hopefully...I'll have arrangments to move out by the time she gets back. I'll probably go visit her next week just to make her feel good. But by February...my goal is to have a house rented and to be out of this place. .

Lately, feeling kinda....well...lost ...I guess is the word. I've got a great business...I've got great friends...musically I'm able to at least play and create...

But I've got a huge hole right in the middle of me...that I can't fill. My self esteem is in the fucking toilet right now for a lot of different reasons. I feel socially inept right now...I feel rejected and unwanted.

I need to stop thinking...I need to party. ..or just interact with people again on a daily basis...so I remember that socialization it's not a hidden science. I'm gonna try to go back to bartending...that should get me good and sick of people real quick and cure this lil pain of mine. I've applied at House of Blues. I don't know how I'll swing both jobs...but I have to get out and socialize...or I'll go fuckin nuts.