armyofrobots

Left this morning at 9. Driving along everything was great, hit I-75 at 11:45 I was doing awesome, perfectly on time....then my car breaks down. It just doesn't want to go. Call Cathy tell her I can't work, she's pissed, I'm probably fired, bu I don't really care. Call AAA, they come 15 minutes later. My truck driver is named Troy. He's a nice little man with a Dale Earnhart #8 hat on. I get in, we go. This man talked....forever. It was about stuff I don't really talk about, which made it awkward....

"I told my wife...'I love you, but I love pussy more.'"
"My wife is 20 and I'm 38, how lucky am I?! I get to bop 20 year old pussy!"
"I've been married 4 times, 4 fucking times. I don't know how I do it!"
"I was in the army for like...2 years man. All it done was get me laid and fill me up with lead."
"I picked up this girl and she told me to pull over and she'd suck me off. I was like "oh hell yeah" and she fucking did it. I took her home and her father was outside. He gave me a $50 tip for picking up his 16 year old daughte. I said "WHAT?!" She smiled and then grabbed my balls right in front of her dad. Is was one of the best days of my life..."

When ever this man talked, all I could think of was themightydog's impression of the people at the NIN concert. And I think I cried a little because he was right. And then, I wanted to kill myself.

I think every conversation this man started was about sex, vagina or the army. And all I could do was that uncomfortable laugh. The "haha, yeah I know what you mean...bang her hard." I'm not a person to talk about my sex life, but this guys was. He had a god damn story for everything. He asked me if I planned on going to college, thinking "hey, maybe we'll have a real conversation", I said yes and then he proceeded to tell me the story of his 10th grade teacher and how they had sex and he got her pregnant. I think she was wife number 2...I dont' know, I lost count.

The only REAL thing we talked about was videogames. Which makes me believe that EVERYBODY can talk about videogames with anybody. It's a fact. If me and Troy managed to meet a common ground, anybody can.

THEN to top everything off, I-75 had an hour traffic jam, which was wicked sweet. All I wanted to do was bang my head into the glass, so then, while my head is gushing blood, I could change the subject.

"hey man, I cut my head."
-"aw, youre bleeding pretty bad."
"yeah, i should probably go to the hospital"
-"you know, one time, I fucked a girl so hard I made her bleed. I didn't care, I kept fuckin' her raw, it was actually kinda warm, I like it."

that's how that would have went, so decided against it.

During this hour, we told me about all of the horrible, disgusting god awful car accidents he has seen during his "trucking". I was in shock, it was disgusting. I didn't know what to do. We weren't moving, so I could have run away, leaving my dead car and everything with it. But no, that would have been bad. I stayed...he talked...I sat...

Somehow through the blur, I ended up home. I'm surprised my eyes aren't bleeding. My ears should be filled with angry bees and my nose should be shooting napalm. Why? Just to add to the madness.

All in all, I got to hang out with my favorite band. I got to see the girl a love so god damn much it hurts when I leave her. I got to go to my future town. I managed to break down and end up here.

thank god for MiseryBleeds I don't know what I'd do without her.