I'm such a shallow fuck!
I meet a girl I actually get along with pretty well...and lead on like always cause I hate being the bad guy...and I end up making myself an even worse guy cause I can't just be straight up and say...
Errm....Well, Whatever it is I would say if I had some CHOCOLATE SALTY BALLS.
She's like a professional singer...and funny...and she laughs at all my jokes...and she wants to touch me WAYYYY too much..which would all be super fucking cool if she were attractive to me.
But yeah...she's not hot. And because she's not hot, I'm only mildly attracted to her because of her great personality...but everything else kills it. Plus I'm kinda sorta seeing some other people.
I'm a dick. I'm Shallow FUCKING Hal. Why is that important to me? Should it be? Yes, I think. No, in a pretend world...but in this one, yes.
I've only been in this predicament one other time...where I quickly apologized and dissappeared. This time I'd like to handle it better.
I hate being such an asshole...and if I were'nt so DAMN GOOD at it I'd quit cold turkey. But then what skills would I have besides being a magnificent lay?
Exactly...NONE.
Let's see...these are some of the break it off lines I've been working on...
1) Aaron? Ahem....*Deep voice* ahhhhh....No Aaron is gone...he moved to Ah...Ah...Annngola!
2) You'd be really beautiful if it was'nt for your face. *Waits for slap*
3) I'd really like to take this to the next level...but we really need to talk about my herpes.
4) I told my boyfriend all about you and he can't wait for a threesome.
5) So will you wait for me while I'm in prison?
6) My wife can't ever find out.
7) *indifferently* Hey...thanks for a great night. *enthusiaticly* Soooo...do you like it in the ass?!?
Um...help me out...I'm running out of ideas.
SINCERELY,
SHALLOW FUCKING ASSHOLE PLAYER TYPE DICKWAD GIGALO FUCK.
I meet a girl I actually get along with pretty well...and lead on like always cause I hate being the bad guy...and I end up making myself an even worse guy cause I can't just be straight up and say...
Errm....Well, Whatever it is I would say if I had some CHOCOLATE SALTY BALLS.
She's like a professional singer...and funny...and she laughs at all my jokes...and she wants to touch me WAYYYY too much..which would all be super fucking cool if she were attractive to me.
But yeah...she's not hot. And because she's not hot, I'm only mildly attracted to her because of her great personality...but everything else kills it. Plus I'm kinda sorta seeing some other people.
I'm a dick. I'm Shallow FUCKING Hal. Why is that important to me? Should it be? Yes, I think. No, in a pretend world...but in this one, yes.
I've only been in this predicament one other time...where I quickly apologized and dissappeared. This time I'd like to handle it better.
I hate being such an asshole...and if I were'nt so DAMN GOOD at it I'd quit cold turkey. But then what skills would I have besides being a magnificent lay?
Exactly...NONE.
Let's see...these are some of the break it off lines I've been working on...
1) Aaron? Ahem....*Deep voice* ahhhhh....No Aaron is gone...he moved to Ah...Ah...Annngola!
2) You'd be really beautiful if it was'nt for your face. *Waits for slap*
3) I'd really like to take this to the next level...but we really need to talk about my herpes.
4) I told my boyfriend all about you and he can't wait for a threesome.
5) So will you wait for me while I'm in prison?
6) My wife can't ever find out.
7) *indifferently* Hey...thanks for a great night. *enthusiaticly* Soooo...do you like it in the ass?!?
Um...help me out...I'm running out of ideas.
SINCERELY,
SHALLOW FUCKING ASSHOLE PLAYER TYPE DICKWAD GIGALO FUCK.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
[Edited on Jul 12, 2004 7:03PM]
try driving a neon or something, works as a chick repellent for me.
one look at that shiny white hunk of american (maybe?) plastic, and they run the other way like i was some oddish diseased pygmie.
wait, thats it! tell her that you have to go be on the next survivor and that you will send someone from the show to get her so that she can be your 'friend from home' when you get to that point, then when no one from cbs comes to whisk her away, she might get the hint!
or not
that was dumb
im going to bed
night