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armoredbaby

NYC

Member Since 2005

Followers 2 Following 5

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Monday Feb 21, 2005

Feb 21, 2005
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What a day. Wet snow fell heavy off the J3A this morning. I drove my usual slow pace to the Place, not too eager to deal with my job.

My cat Sabrina meows. I am home.

Activity downstairs. L loudly talks to E. Antimidas.

"How many times have I been paying for your shit?" she screams

Oh boy am I glad I came upstairs. He has been nice for a few weeks, he has been kickin dope and going to meetings. How cyclical... I wonder if this is the prerequisite...

"GET OOOUUUTTT!!!!!" she screams.

T should be getting involved soon. L's blood pressure goes way up -- E gets her sick. I deeply inhale. I wait.

" I 'm doin it for money -- you park your fat asss here every day!!! ...Fuck YOU!!!!"

Holy shit this is a big one. I am gonna stay the fuck PUT.

Well. It can't be over yet.

"Why don't you get out like I asked you too!!"

E is L's brother This happens all the time. He blames everyone and I mean everyone for his shit. He has been coming here every day, even though he has his own house! The rationale is that by him being here, if anyone should come by his place to get high or possible endanger his attempt to stay clean, he will be far removed from them. E screwed up his first shot at being a home owner. He screwed up the money, the taxes are due and he does not have a dime to go toward it. I knew he would not kep the house, the house he grew up in, the house that became his from the will.

I hate his coming over there, even though he has been tolerable. I knew it could not last this period --this Era of Good Feelings As for the excuse that by being here is less endangered of getting high -- I'm sayin' that is bullshit. Either you are gonna want to stay clean or not -- period.

For the uninitiated or for anyone ( see everyone here ) who has not seen anything I have written anywhereelse on the web: I live here in Sayreville with friends. I have lived here for over 6 months since my old gal JP and I broke up through process.

She asked me to leave. I left.

She moved back in with her parents.

I received Sabrina here round Thanksgiving and ... I am here. I got a job to pay the bills and it barely does that.

I am wondering where I am gonna go, from here, for they are planning to move to Virginia. The job I got to simply pay bills while I got my act together can barely afford the rents around here and i have had very little left to save. I keep saying to myself, " Don't let worry consume you."

So - now the downstairs is surely Eggshell Territory.

A horn beeps outside, could it be for E? E goes to NA meetings every night and before the meetings he sits in the room I call the RTWBAFR, or the Room That would be a Family Room. He plays his lefty guitar plugged into the POD. I cannot watch TV there at all anymore, meaning i can't sit and relax. He has moved in without moving in. All his shit is strewn in that room, and crap is on the chairs.

Fuck that fat ass. It sounds like such a childish way to put it, but this guy I describe, sucks

Enough of this.

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