okay, I finally have a line of my own...journal updating is now a viable option! On to actual entry..
******
What has been making me feel bad/anxious/worried/guilty lately:
-being sick and canceling on B. last-minute for the concert. His subsequent icky-whiny email.
-writing back to H. thanking him for the date offer but explaining my already-dating-someone situation. getting no response.
-spending so much money in such a short time, with rent due in a week and a scary amount due if I want to take the GREs. plus being sick, hence getting less money. wretched temping.
-depending on friends for rides many places, when it's inconvenient for them either geographically or time-wise.
-not wanting to make P. bear the continual burden of cheering me up when I'm feeling depressive.
-not knowing what I want to do with my life, or finding anything that looks like a decent alternative in the meantime. (particularly concerning graduate school)
-the serious potential for me to stop hanging out with people and being social and even eating - ie, depression due to social isolation and semi-paranoia, especially as more people leave/become busy and the days get shorter. and I have no way to get anywhere.
-having P. up in Philadelphia just in general. and my financial inability to see him as often as I want/need to. Once a month (if I'm lucky) will be incredibly difficult...
-needing to find another job that I can reach by public transportation, since CSR is moving in the late fall and I can't make it out there. Need to make more money anyway. Hate money. Money evil.
-not having enough things to occupy my time with in the evenings when I'm at home (ie, prime falling-into-Vortex-of-Despair time) NEED MORE BOOKS!
-the tension between StudentsCA and the Shire people. Or just the attitudes of certain individuals that make me not want to do any activities, like dance or sewing or whatever. (In case no one had noticed, I avoid conflict. Even if I'm not directly involved.)
*****
I guess I feel better now. A little. Lists are only a step away from action, after all. (Okay, one or two steps. Maybe three.)
I might write something later about the past couple of weeks, Pennsic, my new place, etc. If I can revive any sort of enthusiasm (which is deeply buried under my anxiety at the moment.)
At least August is almost over. I hate August. I always feel stuck here..as if the humidity and mosquitoes and cicadas and instant thunderstorms are all the year contains anymore. And everything has lost focus.
*sigh*
At least smileys are fun!
******
What has been making me feel bad/anxious/worried/guilty lately:
-being sick and canceling on B. last-minute for the concert. His subsequent icky-whiny email.
-writing back to H. thanking him for the date offer but explaining my already-dating-someone situation. getting no response.
-spending so much money in such a short time, with rent due in a week and a scary amount due if I want to take the GREs. plus being sick, hence getting less money. wretched temping.
-depending on friends for rides many places, when it's inconvenient for them either geographically or time-wise.
-not wanting to make P. bear the continual burden of cheering me up when I'm feeling depressive.
-not knowing what I want to do with my life, or finding anything that looks like a decent alternative in the meantime. (particularly concerning graduate school)
-the serious potential for me to stop hanging out with people and being social and even eating - ie, depression due to social isolation and semi-paranoia, especially as more people leave/become busy and the days get shorter. and I have no way to get anywhere.
-having P. up in Philadelphia just in general. and my financial inability to see him as often as I want/need to. Once a month (if I'm lucky) will be incredibly difficult...
-needing to find another job that I can reach by public transportation, since CSR is moving in the late fall and I can't make it out there. Need to make more money anyway. Hate money. Money evil.
-not having enough things to occupy my time with in the evenings when I'm at home (ie, prime falling-into-Vortex-of-Despair time) NEED MORE BOOKS!
-the tension between StudentsCA and the Shire people. Or just the attitudes of certain individuals that make me not want to do any activities, like dance or sewing or whatever. (In case no one had noticed, I avoid conflict. Even if I'm not directly involved.)
*****
I guess I feel better now. A little. Lists are only a step away from action, after all. (Okay, one or two steps. Maybe three.)
I might write something later about the past couple of weeks, Pennsic, my new place, etc. If I can revive any sort of enthusiasm (which is deeply buried under my anxiety at the moment.)
At least August is almost over. I hate August. I always feel stuck here..as if the humidity and mosquitoes and cicadas and instant thunderstorms are all the year contains anymore. And everything has lost focus.
*sigh*
At least smileys are fun!
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Not having gone to a football game is not uncool; if it's not your thing it's not your thing. What annoys me, as a fan, is when people come to the games, act ridiculous, puke all over the place and then leave before its over. But maybe I'l expecting to much from a college crowd.
When did you graduate from UVA? What kind of jobs are you looking for right now?