arianna

My grandfather passed early this morning, around 2 am. Although he hadn't woken up since he'd gone to sleep Monday night, it seemed like he waited until he was surrounded by everyone who loved him before he let go. My grandmother, my mom, my twin brother and I along with my fiance, and last to arrive my uncle. He passed on about 10 minutes after the last arrived. I feel like he had already left his body well before he let it die. His breathing looked automatic, like he was on a machine, but he wasn't.

Sometimes I accept his death, though still mourn his loss. Other times I can't believe it, and others I want to bring him back. He won't see me get married, won't meet his great grandchildren. Or see me graduate.

There's never enough time, death never comes after acceptance. He's not in pain, and for that I'm glad. The last couple of months were really bad for him, he hurt so much. And he wasn't himself at all the past few week.

He was such a great man, who had such an amazing life that I feel he should be mourned by the world. Yet his death will go by unnoticed by everyone but us.

He was the closest thing to a dad that I had. And I'll always be greatful that I had him.