Mwahaha! I'm at work, and yes I'm surfing the internet. On Sundays all I do is sit and answer the phones.
Nick thinks I have OCD, and I prolly do. The problem is it means he doesn't take any new interest seriously cause there's like an 80% chance that it's just a phase and after a couple weeks I'll forget about it. That's what he thinks my new interest in SG is. And it's true that I've been obsessing over trying new make-up ideas and such but that was happening for weeks before I decided to try to be a suicidegirl.
I've just never really bothered getting into a daily routine of exercise and applying make-up. I used to just roll out of bed, throw on some clothes and go about my day. Some days I'd take the time to apply make-up and on those days I was in a really good mood and felt really great about myself instead of just feeling blah. I'm not interested in making myself pretty for others, only for myself. And if it makes me feel good about myself then why should it be a bad thing?
It's like when I started trying to eat right, it was new but it was good for me and made me feel good. It was hard to get into a daily habit of making the right choices and sometimes I'd stop but I'd come back to it.
The part where SG comes in is that they want models who are themselves. There's no cookie cutter tall blonde and big boobs. So by being myself, exemplifying my own personality, and presenting myself in a way that I feel is beautiful, I am exactly what SG looks for in a model. What I love most is that the models aren't just objects or props. The pictures are about the models, it's about who they are, not just what they look like.
I can be beautiful by just being me.
Nick thinks I have OCD, and I prolly do. The problem is it means he doesn't take any new interest seriously cause there's like an 80% chance that it's just a phase and after a couple weeks I'll forget about it. That's what he thinks my new interest in SG is. And it's true that I've been obsessing over trying new make-up ideas and such but that was happening for weeks before I decided to try to be a suicidegirl.
I've just never really bothered getting into a daily routine of exercise and applying make-up. I used to just roll out of bed, throw on some clothes and go about my day. Some days I'd take the time to apply make-up and on those days I was in a really good mood and felt really great about myself instead of just feeling blah. I'm not interested in making myself pretty for others, only for myself. And if it makes me feel good about myself then why should it be a bad thing?
It's like when I started trying to eat right, it was new but it was good for me and made me feel good. It was hard to get into a daily habit of making the right choices and sometimes I'd stop but I'd come back to it.
The part where SG comes in is that they want models who are themselves. There's no cookie cutter tall blonde and big boobs. So by being myself, exemplifying my own personality, and presenting myself in a way that I feel is beautiful, I am exactly what SG looks for in a model. What I love most is that the models aren't just objects or props. The pictures are about the models, it's about who they are, not just what they look like.
I can be beautiful by just being me.
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And, weird is good