I just had what could be best described as a BUST OUT of a fantasy draft - mainly because only two of us bothered to turn up and draft... ooh just got a shock from a atypical Morgan Freeman film, gosh.
Anyway, because I want to I'm going to show off the team, pick by pick.
Rnd 1 (5th): Julius Jones RB (Dal) - toss-up between him and Shawn Alexander - at this point I didn't bloody know it was just the two of us picking live so didn't want to risk losing the NFC starting running back at the Pro Bowl. This was the seminal VICK PICK - the player I really wanted out of the whole process.
Rnd 2 (20th): Clinton Portis RB (Wsh) - thanks to the almighty awesome AUTOMATED RUN OF QB's (including Steve McNair going 10th, that was so funny) he was available. I was well pleased. Until I realised that I passed Edgerrin James
That smile, oh did it crash a mile. I'm still sore from the thing, worse than the state of my ass sitting in those lousy chairs while listening to the most fascinating Health and Safety talk being given by a blind dude. Really, excuse the pun, eye-opening. Was brilliant.
Rnd 3 (29th): Matt Hasselbeck QB (Sea) - how the run of QB's didn't swallow him up was unreal. Annoying because the guy I wanted (Bulger) wound up being taken 12th. Chose him over Delhomme, who wound up going to the other guy LUKE!!! who really wanted him all along. Although he was caught out when his browser crashed thus wound up taking 2nd tier wide-outs.
Rnd 4 (44th): Andre Johnson (Hou) - first really hard decision - either him, Chad Johnson, Joe Horn or an l33t TE. Since he did the biz for me last season he was the pick.
As an aside: Last year I started 1-6 after S.Davis went down, Michael Vick flamed out and my 2nd WR went down. Went RB by committee, replaced Vick with Plummer and signed Ashley Lelie - won last 6 of 7, the only loss coming against the worst team in the division and missed the playoffs by a game. On the plus side I was the only side to beat the eventual winner, and knocked off the division leader in the last week so he missed the playoffs. Fantasy Football can expose you seedy shitbag underbelly.
Rnd 5 (53rd): Antonio Gates TE (SD) - Chad Johnson went one bloody pick before me. Boy did the monitor and the 10 sods MIA get it. This was a strict toss-up between Gates (stud who held out of camp... and WON'T FUCKING PLAY WEEK ONE... SHIT!) and Jason Witten (Peter King's Cowboys hidden fantasy gem last year - this year it's Julius Jones, we can't go wrong & the guy who people kept wanting to deal to me - including a Witten & S.Davis for Culpepper, which I totally regret not doing now, whoops tangent). Gates won out because human sackbag Drew Bledsoe is not throwing to him. Anyway LUKE!!! gave me props for this.
Rnd 6 (68th): Drew Bennett WR (TEN) - this year's Mushin Muhammad. The only decent thing going for his good QB on a punished offense. STEAL # - actually who am I kidding. The 10 others were drafting by default. My damned draft was a STEAL. Anyway this was good to get him here.
Rnd 7 (77th): Jake Plummer QB (DEN) - I've just realised, I picked him in this exact same spot last time. Gosh darn. Anyway, he's Mike Shanahan's QB, of course he's going to put up decent numbers, which he did last year - big time. Am I correct in thinking a Kicker of Defence gets picked here?
Rnd 8 (92nd): J.J. Arrington RB (ARI) - I don't believe for a fecking second that this dude's going to be rookie of the year, not a damned second. It's going to be Caddy, Cedric or Orton. He is not the second coming of Robert Smith in Dennis Green's offence. But fuck me am I glad to have him. TRADE BAIT!
Rnd 9 (101st): Rod Smith WR (DEN) - Still the Broncos best receiver. Yes. Back-up duty. Check. Happy. Fuck yeah!
Rnd 10 (116th): Jeb Putzier TE (DEN) - Super-sub TE who filled in awesome when Witten went down last year. No way should this dude have dropped this far - a quality starting TE. Then again, if you draft via auto-pilot through the base player rankings these gems will slip for the players.
Speaking of players - my league is called REALPLAYAS2, yet on 2 bothered to draft live. Strange? That's wannabe gangsta twats for you.
Rnd 11 (125th): BEARS DST - hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe-ha!!! Oooh, ye facker! Oh league, prepare to kiss our whole ASSHOLE! Nyuck. Pardon my juvenility.
Rnd 12 (140th): Josh Brown K (SEA) - What can you say about kickers in drafts, except don't draft them in the 4th round as some eejit did last year and ended up having to cut the bugger in an emergency move to sign a kicker that wasn't on a bye week. Naturally someone cleared a roster spot for him, bastard! Think I beat him though, can't mind.
Rnd 13 (149th): Marshall Faulk RB (STL) - Jesus Christ, how the might have fallen the three short years. Fecking Troy Williamson was also available here. LUKE!!! took him, then almost cried when I told him Williamson was 4th on the Queens depth chart. I'm such a bastard.
Rnd 14 (164th): Chiefs DST - Only selected for one Mr. Dante Hall. That guy is incredible.
And that's Victor Liechtenstien's Sycho's Dunks. And who happens to be wholly prepared to ditch out of the league if there's any shady dealings among the 10 who auto-drafted, thuis making this update redundant. Whic h would be pitiful because I've written more tonight than I have on my next book this week. It must be close. But to be fair to myself, and to offer my esteem a decent excuse, this has been the first night in weeks that my shoulder hasn't ached like an absolute bastard. Is true. What's my point? Who cares? It's Friday. I've got new clothes to scope out, a Morgan Freeman movie to watch and a shower to take.
Bear down, amigos.
Anyway, because I want to I'm going to show off the team, pick by pick.
Rnd 1 (5th): Julius Jones RB (Dal) - toss-up between him and Shawn Alexander - at this point I didn't bloody know it was just the two of us picking live so didn't want to risk losing the NFC starting running back at the Pro Bowl. This was the seminal VICK PICK - the player I really wanted out of the whole process.
Rnd 2 (20th): Clinton Portis RB (Wsh) - thanks to the almighty awesome AUTOMATED RUN OF QB's (including Steve McNair going 10th, that was so funny) he was available. I was well pleased. Until I realised that I passed Edgerrin James
That smile, oh did it crash a mile. I'm still sore from the thing, worse than the state of my ass sitting in those lousy chairs while listening to the most fascinating Health and Safety talk being given by a blind dude. Really, excuse the pun, eye-opening. Was brilliant.
Rnd 3 (29th): Matt Hasselbeck QB (Sea) - how the run of QB's didn't swallow him up was unreal. Annoying because the guy I wanted (Bulger) wound up being taken 12th. Chose him over Delhomme, who wound up going to the other guy LUKE!!! who really wanted him all along. Although he was caught out when his browser crashed thus wound up taking 2nd tier wide-outs.
Rnd 4 (44th): Andre Johnson (Hou) - first really hard decision - either him, Chad Johnson, Joe Horn or an l33t TE. Since he did the biz for me last season he was the pick.
As an aside: Last year I started 1-6 after S.Davis went down, Michael Vick flamed out and my 2nd WR went down. Went RB by committee, replaced Vick with Plummer and signed Ashley Lelie - won last 6 of 7, the only loss coming against the worst team in the division and missed the playoffs by a game.
On the plus side I was the only side to beat the eventual winner, and knocked off the division leader in the last week so he missed the playoffs. Fantasy Football can expose you seedy shitbag underbelly.
Rnd 5 (53rd): Antonio Gates TE (SD) - Chad Johnson went one bloody pick before me.
Boy did the monitor and the 10 sods MIA get it. This was a strict toss-up between Gates (stud who held out of camp... and WON'T FUCKING PLAY WEEK ONE... SHIT!) and Jason Witten (Peter King's Cowboys hidden fantasy gem last year - this year it's Julius Jones, we can't go wrong & the guy who people kept wanting to deal to me - including a Witten & S.Davis for Culpepper, which I totally regret not doing now, whoops tangent). Gates won out because human sackbag Drew Bledsoe is not throwing to him. Anyway LUKE!!! gave me props for this.
Rnd 6 (68th): Drew Bennett WR (TEN) - this year's Mushin Muhammad. The only decent thing going for his good QB on a punished offense. STEAL # - actually who am I kidding. The 10 others were drafting by default. My damned draft was a STEAL. Anyway this was good to get him here.
Rnd 7 (77th): Jake Plummer QB (DEN) - I've just realised, I picked him in this exact same spot last time. Gosh darn. Anyway, he's Mike Shanahan's QB, of course he's going to put up decent numbers, which he did last year - big time. Am I correct in thinking a Kicker of Defence gets picked here?
Rnd 8 (92nd): J.J. Arrington RB (ARI) - I don't believe for a fecking second that this dude's going to be rookie of the year, not a damned second. It's going to be Caddy, Cedric or Orton. He is not the second coming of Robert Smith in Dennis Green's offence. But fuck me am I glad to have him. TRADE BAIT!
Rnd 9 (101st): Rod Smith WR (DEN) - Still the Broncos best receiver. Yes. Back-up duty. Check. Happy. Fuck yeah!
Rnd 10 (116th): Jeb Putzier TE (DEN) - Super-sub TE who filled in awesome when Witten went down last year. No way should this dude have dropped this far - a quality starting TE. Then again, if you draft via auto-pilot through the base player rankings these gems will slip for the players.
Speaking of players - my league is called REALPLAYAS2, yet on 2 bothered to draft live. Strange? That's wannabe gangsta twats for you.
Rnd 11 (125th): BEARS DST - hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe-ha!!! Oooh, ye facker! Oh league, prepare to kiss our whole ASSHOLE! Nyuck. Pardon my juvenility.
Rnd 12 (140th): Josh Brown K (SEA) - What can you say about kickers in drafts, except don't draft them in the 4th round as some eejit did last year and ended up having to cut the bugger in an emergency move to sign a kicker that wasn't on a bye week. Naturally someone cleared a roster spot for him, bastard! Think I beat him though, can't mind.
Rnd 13 (149th): Marshall Faulk RB (STL) - Jesus Christ, how the might have fallen the three short years. Fecking Troy Williamson was also available here. LUKE!!! took him, then almost cried when I told him Williamson was 4th on the Queens depth chart. I'm such a bastard.
Rnd 14 (164th): Chiefs DST - Only selected for one Mr. Dante Hall. That guy is incredible.
And that's Victor Liechtenstien's Sycho's Dunks. And who happens to be wholly prepared to ditch out of the league if there's any shady dealings among the 10 who auto-drafted, thuis making this update redundant. Whic h would be pitiful because I've written more tonight than I have on my next book this week. It must be close. But to be fair to myself, and to offer my esteem a decent excuse, this has been the first night in weeks that my shoulder hasn't ached like an absolute bastard. Is true. What's my point? Who cares? It's Friday. I've got new clothes to scope out, a Morgan Freeman movie to watch and a shower to take.
Bear down, amigos.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
and 1-1 nae a bad result for us but we could do better.
And i'm with Shaunie Sorry
How are you keeping sir?