I had this great dream the other night.
I'm in bed with this beautiful woman and she says she'll give the the monster screw of my life if I stop laughing at the word 'peck'. Which I can't do. She tries to make me stop but fails. She leaves and I'm still laughing at the word 'peck'. It was a great dream.
Then last night I was part of this Power Rangers type crew chiefed by Steven Seagal saving this wee village from these hulking Shadow of the Colossus type monsters and the members of the local vicarage keeps trying to make us leave but Seagal punches the vicar in the cock and they go away. It too was a great dream.
Dreams rules. I say if you spend a third of your life sleeping one owes it to oneself to ensure they have grand dreams. Otherwise that's a third of life wasted which is not gnarly by any standard.
Slinging phonebooks again, which ruled. Old people kept trying to speak to me which was kinda cool but also annoying as time is precious dammit. None of them left a crap outside their door which was a relief. I've worked in a place where an old woman did leave a crap outside the door. I reported it and used the word faeces without humour- a true sign of maturity by my standards. Love to have known the though process of fishing a turd out the ass and plunking it smack dab outside a door. What was the goal? I'll never know because the old woman in question is mad as colon-cased hamster.
NHL '94 and Guitar Hero 3 are awesome games. Any game that pried me from FF12 needed to be awesome. NHL 94 should be a classic but for some reason they TOOK OUT THE FIGHTING.Dicks. Guitar Hero is frigging hard though. Thought to myself 'right, fuck this easy bollocks, easy's only for Onimusha 2 when I couldn't beat Gogandantess after 2 hours. I'm going medium'. 12% into Slow Ride I went down to easy. I was not ashamed.
Quality Street and Werthers' Originals have new names round these parts. Two words. 2nd word in both are pellets. Shan't say the first words of each but both begin with P and it isn't 'poofs.'
I'm always thinking I can turn these blogs into something epical when I think about them but when it comes to the actual writing I haven't the worth and wherewithal to make it happen. Kinda like a eunuch at an orgy.
And on that tasteless unseasonal note I'll wish anyone who reaches this far a Merry Xmas and a stonking New Year.
Take it away..... FROGS OF THE POND...
... and Scouser (and big ups to Rupert for finding these frogs. I knew the dude had skills.)
I'm in bed with this beautiful woman and she says she'll give the the monster screw of my life if I stop laughing at the word 'peck'. Which I can't do. She tries to make me stop but fails. She leaves and I'm still laughing at the word 'peck'. It was a great dream.
Then last night I was part of this Power Rangers type crew chiefed by Steven Seagal saving this wee village from these hulking Shadow of the Colossus type monsters and the members of the local vicarage keeps trying to make us leave but Seagal punches the vicar in the cock and they go away. It too was a great dream.
Dreams rules. I say if you spend a third of your life sleeping one owes it to oneself to ensure they have grand dreams. Otherwise that's a third of life wasted which is not gnarly by any standard.
Slinging phonebooks again, which ruled. Old people kept trying to speak to me which was kinda cool but also annoying as time is precious dammit. None of them left a crap outside their door which was a relief. I've worked in a place where an old woman did leave a crap outside the door. I reported it and used the word faeces without humour- a true sign of maturity by my standards. Love to have known the though process of fishing a turd out the ass and plunking it smack dab outside a door. What was the goal? I'll never know because the old woman in question is mad as colon-cased hamster.
NHL '94 and Guitar Hero 3 are awesome games. Any game that pried me from FF12 needed to be awesome. NHL 94 should be a classic but for some reason they TOOK OUT THE FIGHTING.Dicks. Guitar Hero is frigging hard though. Thought to myself 'right, fuck this easy bollocks, easy's only for Onimusha 2 when I couldn't beat Gogandantess after 2 hours. I'm going medium'. 12% into Slow Ride I went down to easy. I was not ashamed.
Quality Street and Werthers' Originals have new names round these parts. Two words. 2nd word in both are pellets. Shan't say the first words of each but both begin with P and it isn't 'poofs.'
I'm always thinking I can turn these blogs into something epical when I think about them but when it comes to the actual writing I haven't the worth and wherewithal to make it happen. Kinda like a eunuch at an orgy.
And on that tasteless unseasonal note I'll wish anyone who reaches this far a Merry Xmas and a stonking New Year.
Take it away..... FROGS OF THE POND...
... and Scouser (and big ups to Rupert for finding these frogs. I knew the dude had skills.)
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
I'm always thinking I can turn these blogs into something epical when I think about them but when it comes to the actual writing I haven't the worth and wherewithal to make it happen
I feel the exact same way. Happy New Year!