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For everyone who has ever had or given an evaluation
>- These are actual quotes taken from comments on
>federal government employee performance evaluations:
>
>1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached
>rock-bottom and has started to dig."
>
>2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
>
>3. "This employee is really not so much of a
>has-been, but more of a definite won't be."
>
>4. "Works well when under constant supervision and
>cornered like a rat in a trap."
>
>5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is
>only to change feet."
>
>6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
>
>7. "He sets low personal standards and then
>consistently fails to achieve them."
>
>8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere
>of an idiot."
>
>9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he
>starts, the better."
>
>10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy
>to hold it all together."
>
>11. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an
>ordinary ignoramus."
>
>12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
>
>15. "He's been working with glue too much."
>
>16. "He would argue with a signpost."
>
>17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the
>room."
>
>18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
>
>19. "If you see two people talking and one looks
>bored, he's the other one."
>
>20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover
>glued on."
>
>21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
>
>22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done
>using it."
>
>23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but
>the train isn't coming."
>
>24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the
>other is out looking for it."
>
>25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be
>watered twice a week."
>
>26. "If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd
>get change."
>
>27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear
>the ocean."
>
>28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000
>other sperm."
>
>29. "One neuron short of a synapse."
>
>30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he
>only gargled."
>
>31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."