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argentius

Sub Rosa

Member Since 2004

Followers 1 Following 13

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Wednesday Oct 27, 2004

Oct 27, 2004
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Its seven in the morning, and Im awake. In a life like mine, thats groundbreaking news, especially as its dark and rainy outside. Until that upcoming day when those-in-power decide that the clocks shall be set back an hour, its not yet dawn in Portland at seven. More unique is that Im not only awake in the sense that Im ambling around, Im actually alert and active for once, I dont feel that awful pressure of grogginess that says go back to sleep, go back to sleep.

My dreams are captivating, and they frequently have drawn me back to bed for longer than Id like. Yesterday, for instance, I had the same plan as today wake up at six-thirty, get downstairs and study, write. The web of my dreams pulled me back from my alarm clock, though, with vague promises of another ten minutes, until those ten minutes became an hour, then two, and then three. The sycophantic bastard my personified subconscious kept me pinned to my bed until ten minutes until eleven. The effect of this isnt the warm, refreshed sensation that comes from the occasional sleeping through the entire morning, but the heavy atrophy of consciousness that comes from neither sleeping nor waking for a quarter of a day.

Its strange, then, for me to be up at seven, and feeling better at it than I do nearly any day when I wake up at ten, or eleven. Most mornings, all I can do is imagine when Ill be able to return to my bed. At times it seems odd that I spend so much of my thoughts on sleep, but when one considers that at least a quarter of ones living moments, it starts to make sense. Sleep is one of the least-appreciated, possibly least-understood human activities, particularly in proportion to how often everyone needs it. We read everywhere about how to be more effective throughout our days, how to eat properly, what to do in any handful of situations, were given a prescription for life in the idiom of this mechanized western hierarchy. How is it, then, that apart from a few admonitions to get a good nights sleep, one hears so little about the intricacies of sleep?

But here I am, fully functional, watching the dawn. Im surprised but happy to say that I believe this wont be a unique day in that respect. The trick will be in the timing Im a big fan of late nights and the electric, uninhibited inspirations that come in what I call three a.m. moments. If Im to experience them and yet wake up before dawn each morning, when shall I sleep?

I think in the past seven years Ive slept enough for a lifetime.

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