Republican Spin Generator. Try it now! Here's mine.
Fellow Grand Wizards of the KKK
We know you love your neighbor's wife and your gun. We know you share the same concerns as all commie-hating and hard-working Americans. You want to be out shooting terrorists just like the rest of us. You will support anything we tell you to and want what's best for the country, like we do.
This war on terror is the only way to make our country secure just like we were in the 1950s, when Cheney was a pup, and we know you'll support it with all your heart, no matter how long it takes, or how much it costs, because you are a Christian, God-fearing, white man.
The only way out of this situation is to bomb Iraq, then Somalia, then Tom Daschle, so that businesses can create new jobs for white men. But the commie pinko radical left Democrats are trying to take your hard-earned money and give it to the Jews instead of putting it in our pockets where it belongs.
If you're a patriot who hates Clinton and his bitch lesbian wife you'll help us kill queers and commies here and abroad to help get our country back on its feet and keep us all safe.
Remember, if you want our country to be competitive and not be buried in the corpses of murdered fetuses, put the House and Senate back into the hands of the people who are nothing like that bastard Clinton, who look nothing like that bastard Clinton, and who want to give you high-interest credit cards and a missile shield instead of feeding illegal Russian immigrants who rape your children.
Remember friends, to save the good 'ol U.S. of A., vote the way I told you, you little pansy, in the next election
